Recent meetings have again highlighted the words clinic letters use, which sometimes cause distress to patients.

Bothersome symptoms’

‘Complaining of pain

Failure to progress ( labour) = useless

“failure”, “incompetence” or “lack of maternal effort”

Words That Blame or Shame

• Failure: As in “treatment failure” or “failure to progress.” Because obviously, it’s the patient who failed, not the therapy or the system. Gold star for guilt.
• Poor effort: Often used in obstetrics or rehab. Translation: “You didn’t try hard enough to give birth or recover.” Charming./‘\
  |]’
• Non-compliant: You rebel, you. Didn’t follow orders? Clearly you’re a medical anarchist.

Cast Doubt

• Denies: “Patient denies chest pain.” Sounds like you’re on trial. Why not “reports no chest pain” instead?
• Claims: “Patient claims pain is 10/10.” Oh, so now we’re doubting their agony? Lovely.

Infantilise

• Allowed: “Patient is allowed to eat.” How gracious of the medical overlords.
• Sent home: Like a naughty schoolchild. Maybe next time you’ll behave better.
• Good/bad infections: Because chronic illness clearly comes with moral grading. Contaminated culture you deliberately let the GP keep it out of their fridge

Minimise

• Bothersome: “Patient reports bothersome symptoms.” Ah yes, your debilitating pain is just mildly annoying.
• Unremarkable: Used for test results, but feels like a personal insult. “Your scan is boring, just like your personality.”

There must be lots more examples but you get my drift.

My complaint to the London hospital who seem unable to communicate within or across their own enterprise caused mayhem in recent weeks.

They have just written to me. They have ‘investigated’

my claims

“Thanks for your email of 30 June, which clearly disrupted someone’s inbox.”

“Sorry you’re not thrilled with your experience in Urology and Radiology – we like to keep things mysterious, apparently.”

“Attached is a letter from Ms x who hopefully decoded the situation with all the surgical precision her title promises.”

“We treat complaints like treasure maps to flaws in our system. X marks the ‘Oops!’”

“If you’re still confused, X is your compass. But, feel free to climb the ladder back to me head honcho if needed.”

“Here’s a bonus info sheet so you can enjoy navigating the bureaucratic jungle with slightly more clarity.”

“Apologies for the stress. We do care. Promise. Just not always in real-time.”

Then a letter from the Chief investigator

• Thanks for your detailed message and chat — always a pleasure to respond after things go wrong.”
• “Oops! Gave you totally wrong info about your spinal devices and MRI compatibility. We do have protocols… we just forgot to use them.”
• “Yes, MRI machines are getting stronger. Apparently, that’s a good enough reason to ignore your medical history entirely.”
• “Recommended treatments you’ve already tried and ditched? Oh, didn’t realise we were playing the ‘Groundhog Day’ version of healthcare.”
• “Being a teaching hospital means we recycle patient stories for educational purposes. Thank you for your generous donation of frustration.”
• Action Plan Highlights:
  • MRI scan now classed as ‘urgent’ (translation: a bureaucratic fire has been lit).
  • Consultant review with Dr (!) Dipstick requested, so someone senior might finally look at your case.
    Bet someone’s composing a strongly worded email as we speak: ‘Please refer to me as MR Dipstick going forward. I earned it—.’”
  • Infectious disease appointment may be expedited, as your complaint rang enough alarm bells.
• “We’re using your experience to ‘inform internal reflection.’ In other words, you’ve made it to the complaints bulletin board. Congratulations.”
• “We care deeply about compassionate, high-quality care. Especially when you notice we’re not actually delivering it.”

Breaking news we have WiFi. Whoooo and tv just in time for Lionesses to raise blood pressure again.

Message from DH:

Hahaha

I just had “unremarkable “ test results!! 

What about when you’re excited to be pregnant for the first time and they refer to you as the Elderly Primogravidal 

Or

“Unresponsive to Treatment”

“Failure to Flourish” !!!!  

“Displays cynical attitude”

Ive had all these