Catherine the Great. She ruled Russia having organised a coup against her husband. Peter. The great. She tried to improve the life of her subjects especially women. You maybe have watched this Netflix series. It’s totally ridiculous, inappropriate, misogynistic rubbish. But weirdly addictive.

The night before I was to address a conference ‘new horizons in bladder health’, in Birmingham, we watched an episode of the series. Birmingham there I stood …Abandoning all my notes. Ignoring the teleprompter . What story did I tell?

Catherine the Great had to use a pine cone to help support her pelvic floor post pregnancy. Unfortunately said cone fell out as she addressed the ambassadorial delegations from London and Washington. She just nonchalantly stepped over.

Was this an early women’s health intervention or merely the longest NHS waiting list ever?

Who knows. But the amazingly supportive audience laughed at this and indeed all my stories! Remember the squeezy app story? IF not I’ll tell you

Meanwhile I went to see Mr Rheumatology. NHSland having ignored Dipstick’s referral BUPA miraculously agreed to cover. 

Mr Rheuma was old school. Took copious notes about my parents my children my history. I’ve not done that for years. Actually since 2009.  Bloody hell is it really 15 years ago? Three men in a boat and Jerome? What? 

So yes Mr Rheum reckons there’s a chance some immune crap might be a factor. No shit Sherlock. Jerome said that years ago.

His clinic letter is thorough. Like his examination of me. Semi naked. No chaperone. The only thing he mentioned was my dodgy knee. But his clinic letter said I was a little overweight. Buggerations. He’d be bloody overweight if he’d imbibed the steroids I had and shifted most of it already. Why does that piss me off?

He did however laugh in the consultation. He finds the software I call ERIC to be an’Americanised inconvenience’ so much so that he has written a song. ‘10,000 clicks’.

In other news my right kidney is doing well. The recipient reports. Every anniversary we swap letters. But every leap year we swap cards. Today I opened my post. An amazing huge card from him. Saying Thankyou. 29th February 2012 forever grateful. 12 years he’s done so well. Back to work. Back to golf. That’s pretty dam good. I remember that time so well. Jerome then supporting. Thinking. Telling me what he thought. Supporting my decision. Remembering to write to me on that day.

Bloody bladder is bonkers. Hopefully I’ll get MSU result from Jerome. It’s not responding to anything. Doctors strikes probydelaying any results from Tottenham Court. In any case they’ve got an issue outside.

Finally, it’s not my story really but daughter 1 is about to undergo surgery. I’m absolutely in bits. I’ve told her I’d do it all for her instead. The only trouble is I already have. It’s a nightmare over and over in my head.