A few weeks ago a few of we ‘Yellow Cardies’ ( we met to learn bridge..long story..must be a blog somewhere) had a mini break. We were in Cornwall to surf and coasteer and well, have time out in the sea.

First morning, I helped everyone into their kit. The old trick I deployed was using a plastic bag over the foot to get the wetsuit legs in. It didn’t go well. But eventually, togged up, into the waves we ran.

This week, I was back in hospital for the carefully choreographed procedure planned by Jerome. Insurance would not cover it. The eye watering quote was duly sent out along with 10 admission letter attachments. I ignored those.

Jerome rang me the day before. Infection. A bit resistant. Need antibiotics. This he told me as I was in fact queuing at Bedford hospital for an X-ray of my jaw. ( That’s another story).

We kind of decided between us and not sure about the cost , that I would go in early, on Monday night. Operation on Tuesday. Home on Wednesday.

Bag packed, train ticket bought, off I trudged. Train strikes notwithstanding.

To my amazement my old friend Matron, had ordered up flowers for my room! Wow. He told me later he’d requested the best room for me. Actually such is my luck, I had the worst. He was not happy.

The staff, I have known for nigh on a decade all came, one by one to say hello. Even the lady who must be 100 who cleans the rooms. I asked her to sing. She won a competition ;years ago. She obliged and came back at the end of her shift to show me some videos she had done.


As for night staff, to my delight, was my old friend B. She looked after me in the grimmest of days in the past. It was she who is so lovely but just a bit ditsy. One night, she left the tap on my catheter open all night. I cannot tell you how far and wide that lake of pee spread. She mopped it all up muttering away. That was maybe 2015.

Back to 2022. Pre op stuff. As she made sure I had my gaping gown on, paper pants, and nothing else, she insisted on putting on my compression stockings. I’ve learnt a new technique. She said. Using the plastic bag trick she got those stockings on and toe to heel , in no time at all.

We cannot blame Jerome but his appearance at the door maybe caused the problem which occurred later.


Jerome and his awesome Mrs Anaethetist arrived. Consented. Sorted.

The G.O.D. Of all surgeons was notable by his absence. Jerome had texted him , rung him and hoped that he might show up.

Down into the depths of the hospital I was taken, for the anaesthetic room bit. Just as the drugs began to whirl, Jerome in scrubs arrived at the door. Peering over his shoulder, pin stripe suit and all, was…. G.O.D. …he began to ask me about the Botox…200? 300? I actually have no idea if I even answered. I was ‘under’ and woke in recovery, wondering where the hell I was and whether he had in fact put Botox in still wearing his beautiful pin stripe suit. I will never know.

Meanwhile as the day wore on my compression stocking things were more and more annoying. Sweaty. Itching. And horrible.

It was not until later that night that I got into the shower, pulled off the offending articles and low and behold…there was the plastic bag still stuck to my foot, under the stocking. FFS ./ Surfers do not do this!
Next day. Anxieties avoid the penal of or late departure, checking trains were running ( strike delays) and worrying about home chaos. I tried to get discharged.
A massive cock up on the take home medicines. Notwithstanding pharmacy always takes forever. Also the pre admission bit mentioned penalty charges for late discharge. IE 10.00 am or else. Pharmacy came to see me. Refused to authorise Jerome’s script. I left. I collected another script from Jerome. The London chemist could not cash it without 24 hour notice. The hospital pharmacy then said they would issue after all. But then disappeared. I went home with none. I asked them to send. They did. But post strike stopped that. I suggested a courier. But in the end our local chemist rushed through Jerome’s scripts. Infection began to surface. Arghh.


As for the Botox. I actually haven’t noticed anything . Jerome checked the offending Boari stump and says nothing weird there.

I’m battling infection this weekend. But Botox no Tox. Yet ! As for my fitness kick. Couch 2 5k. Back from week 9 to week 1 I guess.