Another week another dress.

It’s been tricky trying to get brain and bladder to cooperate but pouring in antibiotics is hopefully going to work. Jerome is on the case. Phew.

As for the dress, if last week was a dress for dinner this week was glitz for dinner. Two years of no dresses and two come along at once. As the guest of a certain supplier my luxurious room, dinner and ticket found me panicking about dress 2 on Wednesday. Gathered at 5* Park Lane, 1250 nurses et al celebrated in post covid style. Hosted by the feisty Naga Manchetty from BBC , the assembled heroes of NHS celebrated in style.

This was the Nursing Times Awards 2021. Lots of incredible teams were applauded and eventual winners per category were up on stage for photos and pride.

I got my dress the right way round. Or at least I think so. My ever so essential and expensive tights were on, my perfunctory attempt at make up and hair brush was done, cannot blame covid for my hopelessness in that! I went off to meet my team. Not having ever met anyone except by zoom, the massive crowd proved impossible. I texted my location to the team. ‘ I’m standing in the foyer’ … ‘ next to Florence Nightingale ‘ as you do.

Just as well, for I was soon redeployed to take photos for other teams posing with dear FLO.

As all bladder challenged patients will testify, there is a certain sixth sense, an inner alarm, which alerts to impending disaster. Sure enough before even meeting my own team, it was obvious mortgage worthy tights had fallen down. In attempting to avoid the obvious trip hazard I could only walk slowly and carefully. Nonchalant even!

In no time I found myself seated, hosted by a supplier, wine, champagne and merry chatter ensued as, with the adeptness of a catheter user, I shed my tights. No one would have noticed. Dinner followed by awards hosted by Naga of BBC breakfast fame.

1250 nurses et al must have raised the roof and drained the bar, such was the atmosphere of the night.

In a startling turn of events the Continence App for which I had advised was a winning award. There I was tightless and beaming. My height meant the tiny team kept me covered up as we tripped on stage to meet Naga. Photographs interviews and more media followed.

As I wandered off to bed, the 1249 other guests danced the night away, fortified with wine , hot dogs and ice cream. Heroes of the last 18 months , go for it I mumbled as my snores took root. I’m only worrying that someone somewhere will find an expensive pair of tights and wonder at their origin.