DAY 0 
Cool, calm morning at home. Well, scurried round. Freezer filled? Check. Washing ironing done? Check. Bins out? Check. Emailed brilliant neighbours for help bins patio watered blah blah. CHECK 

Before I know it taxi whisked me to train station. It could almost have been to get to Luton airport for a flight to…? My baggage on board along with all the other holiday makers. Only thing was, they got off at Luton Airport and I sailed on to glorious St Pancras. My favourite station. Carefully ignoring the wonderful coffee smells, I made my way through the Grand Hotel reception and allowed the porter to signal up a cab. Have a nice flight he said as he waved me off. PEWK. 
Arrival at Hosp. Made my way through check-in, passport control, security,  surrendered baggage to kindly porter. 

All liquids surrendered already at 8 am.

Nurse completed the boarding procedure. Check.

Surgeon 1 kind sympathetic noises. Just right. Consent form rapidly completed. Goodness know what I signed up for. 

He said Surgeon 2 will typically not turn up til the last minute will not see me and will moan about him. He also added Surgeon 2 usually takes ages to operate but he, Surgeon 1, operates speedily. Pewk. Which would I rather I pondered? Help. 

He wandered off to start his ‘list’ .

RMO arrived general assessment ECG etc 

Phlebotomist Eric arrived next. Blood sample taken for the click and collect. No it can’t be that.  For transfusions if required. As IF I’d need that I told myself pah.  ‘ just a little scratch’. He was great. Actually all phlebotomists are. Fabulous skill. 

Surgeon 2 arrived! Moaned about surgeon 1’s economy of words on consent form. Announced proudly that he cancelled the operation last week. Wondered whether I knew that? 

Looking weirdly at him I said yes indeed I did know as he had asked Jerome’s secretary to email me with said news. No personal call no consideration of tense patient- counting-the-days-to-the-op. Would it not have occurred to him that the patient might NEED to know it’d been cancelled?  Anyhow after many phone calls playing the game of words on fundingI’d got it sorted and covered at the 11th stressy hour. 

Off he went muttering about Surgeon 1. 

Goodness was I letting these two moaning minnie’s chop me up?

Anaesthetist turns up. Wow. Nice empathic quick run through the flight plan, chatter about technology, prepare for imminent take off as the two surgeons were ‘champing at the bit to get started’PEWK.  

Sure enough seconds after he left nurse arrived, paper knickers check. gown check. stockings check. nail varnish check. Superstitious application of toe nail varnish missed check.   Contacts out check. SNS turned off check. Go go go. Heart thumping we walked the walk of fear to lift. pewky .green painted anaesthetic room. Surrounded by 6 or so green covered aliens who fired questions at me Allergies ???? That took awhile. Stumbled over my surname as ever. Fired more questions at me. Into sight loomed kindly anaesthetist. Winking whispering about iPads, he put cannula in easily, ‘just a small scratch’ . From somewhere behind me Surgeons 1 and 2 only eyes visible, peered over my head. Cheerily patting said head?! and making encouraging noises. With another wink anaesthetist showed me the magic big white filled syringe….oblivion…hurrah. 

Next thing I remember? Excruciating pain everywhere mumbled noises all around … Oblivion once more. Presume that was in recovery.

Next thing I remember is being on a trolley in a lift seemingly connected to two sort of huge water filled balloons. Porter tripped as we came out of lift pulling the connecting tubes. I could not help but yell..agony descends once more. Get a grip I told myself. Nurse rushed to my side twiddling with all the lines. Trolley  stopped once more .. ‘Your husband is in the relatives room’. Into sight zoomed worried knackered looking D. Poor him. Two second hello and he was despatched to the room of stress once more until I’m harnessed into the CCU unit. As I clutched my familiar  PSA I pressed and pressed and pressed ….blesséd oblivion descended again. Hurrah. 
Next..Wednesday 12th or Day 1…