July 21 2015 implosion days. 

Implo

Implis

Implit …..

Implimous?? Eeek
Trying to get a paper finished for deadline today. 

Trying to pack forCornwall take dogs to kennels and sort 5000 other bits. Of course teachers only work 8 til 3:00 in term time only. As if?! and I’m only part time. The volley of work emails demonstrates otherwise and it’s only day 3 of summer ‘ break’. Then just to add to the fun up pops latest clinic letter. 

Realise from that, that the surgeon implies I am meant to go to ‘ preassessment two weeks before op’ ie like now . Mm

Ring hospital, they have no instructions but give me some pointers. I think a MSu could be an idea. Especially as the microbiologist will apparently suggest what pre op stuff to do. Not sure how he will know but such minor worries….frrriggginnn…Hospital suggests GP might help and nearer home too! Ring GP awesome NICE ? receptionist answers. Explain predicament. She understands in a flash. It gets better… She speaks to nurse. Arranges appointment for tomorrow hurrah! Wow how come she’s so helpful all of a sudden?. 

Glitch? ‘Just bring list of what surgeon has requested and we will handle it’. Mmmm ring sec. Not sure either. Email any surgeon I can think of in the circle of bladder . No replies. They must be resting between patients as Jeremy Hunt would have us believe. He and Gove of berate- the -teacher- fame clearly at the same supper party such is their rhetoric.  Do they ever understand anything about leadership. How (not) to motivate your staff? Unbelievable. They just do not get it. Who are the bods advising them? Is it really too much to work out that all our clever kids at school want to be doctors? Loads apply, few get in. Then we are told there are not enough doctors. So GPs and Consultants should work 24/7. But how? And in the middle of Sunday morning operating away, how the hell can they? without all the back up the admin staff the nurses physios ( Lou works weekend shifts anyway)…the catering, the buses, the porters…the the the…its nuts. But as we all know if you are unfortunately emergency bound at a weekend there IS provision. In the same vein obviously as teachers are also very lazy and don’t do any work outside school hours and have long holidays where they do nothing at all. ( as if) So why don’t we open schools 24/7. Teach kids all day all night all week that’d get ‘results’. Because yes of course everything is data driven.  But, now here’s the hitch will the ‘customers’ want to come in to school or indeed hospital all day all night ? It’s quite a thought, kids could be at school all weekend so that their doctor parents can work all weekend.  But then, oops the site agent the caterers the buses the IT support …Science fiction really. Nothing is real its numbers stats grades…but Westminster has bought into that surreal world. …fffffffrrr imploding again…..

Thursday…

.Morning breaks Over Bedford. Late night trying to type faster and faster to complete. Email from Jerome at 6:00 am. Does he ever sleep ? or go home? J.Hunt might do well to find out. Anyhow thank goodness he sends logical list forGP. Later that morning here I am…WAITING ROOM AT GP… Tannoy not working, so GPs are having to nip up and down the stairs tocallpatients! Adds a nice touch and patients are giggling cracking jokes about get fit fast!! 

Nurse Julie summons me in. Sort the tests. Some well one , the MRSA, thatcan be done here. Rest at hospital. Arghh. MSU ? no need she says. You had one last week. I know, says I. Please please just do. Implooooodddding…
Drive to hospital here I am in the queue. I’m ‘ 86’ we are on 62…oh well time to catch breath … Better go to Waitrose on way home. Scrabble in spice rack …what’ll I put? Basil Oregano 

Uh oh the ticket dispenser for queue unravels dramatically under thepatientchairsfeet etc. It’s one of those supermarket delicatessen type things… One pint of blood please no wrapping no that’s fine thanks.  

I’m losing theplot bloody woman next to me cannot stop sniffing I am about to tell her to  find a tissue…. Get buzzed in… nice phlebotomist asks me about my phone … It’s a oneplus… From China …we prattle away. Finished there I sprint home dogs,car, kennels,no time for petrol, argh need to submit paper to publisher , help, PDF thingy not working….
 Oh my days panic sets in…… The food order for Cornwall. I’ve chosen Friday. When we are in Bristol.Not Saturday when we arrive. What a plonker. And the catering size lasagne place too. Bugger ! phone calls. Stress. Implosion. West country ladies utterly charming fix it all for me. Hurrah forthem. WhatamIlike. Need a holiday to slowdown.  No time for Waitrose I finish the day’s emails and paper idling scanning google for a Waitrose scrabble picture to add here…they are all far too rude…cannot possibly but…

Basil Oregano Bayleaf Sage Oniongranules…..Garlicgranules Italianseasoning Blackpepper

Now where on earth is my wet suit…?