In the film Marathon Man 1970 ish, there is a scene oft reprised by those of us who remember it, as we enter a dentist’s surgery. If I recall correctly Dustin Hoffman is in the dentists’ chair being drilled into each tooth, with no anaesthetic. Horrible.

Whilst, of course, I was anaesthetised for the six-plus hours of surgery, post-surgery the torture was very real. With no feeling in my mouth, tongue, face, or throat, swallowing drinks through a syringe was particularly crap.

In my drugged-up state, all I wanted was a glass of water. The ICU was amazing! PDA, on the other hand, (not quite the Dubai-style public display of affection) it is a personal drug administration. You just press a button, and drugs are administered directly on demand. The ICU team suggested it to help out on the ward, where they suggested pain relief would not be on tap otherwise. . All that crushing tablets and messing around with syringes of hot tea on the ward wasn’t really helpful. Presented with steaming cups of coffee tea etc tantalising but impossible. Then home, without PDA and without any soluble stuff, things were really tricky.

Taking crushed medicines dissolved in water and then swallowed with a syringe is a really rubbish.

Last week was tough. But using the econsult online GP thing, perchance my query was acknowledged and indeed a real life gp rang me. She was not impressed with the hospital take home meds. Swiftly organising. Anti pewks. Liquid morphine. Soluble co codamol advice empathy care. All of a sudden control regained and a lot better.

By Monday, I was feeling pretty crap on and tried out the GP econsult service. And guess what? It was like magic! Not only did it acknowledge my query, but a real-life GP actually called me! She immediately understood what was going on and sent out an urgent script to a lovely chemist for oral morphine, anti-pewks meds, soluble pain relief, and all sorts of helpful advice and understanding. Seriously, a miracle! It was such a turning point for me. Now, I can finally sleep. I can take all my regular meds without crushing them or making me feel awful, and even drink a whole glass of water. It’s the little things, you know?

Various amazing friends have come over with smoothies and protein powders, and we’ve been chatting away. Smoothies are a 10/10, protein powders are a 2/10, but I’m sure I can try harder with those. And the chatter… wow, it’s off the scale of wonderful!

But, oh my goodness, if I overdid it all, my blood pressure plummeted so low that I actually crashed out on the kitchen floor! When I was trying to figure out what was happening, it hit me that taking all my usual meds to lower my BP was actually making it too low. So, another online consultation with another GP, and we both agreed. We figured out what to stop, and guess what? Everything seems okay again!

Phew.On the up.

But my point is couldn’t the ridiculous long discharge procedure ( 10 hours) include some kind appropriate drugs and advice for home? Crazy days.

Meanwhile Jan’s birthday on Saturday. A group of us had decided to meet. To raise a glass to her. I wasn’t sure I’d be fit. But there we were back in her favourite curry place she called ‘Fish’ She actually hated fish but as this building had formerly been a fish restaurant, she kept its name as it morphed into a curry restaurant. Obviously

Well we laughed ( I mumbled/dirbbled!)we chatted we didn’t cry we saluted our friend in beers and curry. As for me – I managed lentils with a teaspoon. Not even a straw. #Result

The men drove us all home. Thanks to them we did what we felt was important.