Following on from miserable Monday having waited 2 hours for consultant to tell me I was in the wrong clinic…then the pharmacy in the main hospital said I’d have to wait two hours…so I went home.

Inevitably I have been feeling shit awful ever since.

Trying to remember what on earth the Monday plan was, I realised the sensible thing was to ring the clinic . I thought I could ask if they had results or advice or anything really.

Stupid me. The switchboard gave me a number to ring.

I rang it.

The person who answered was one of the ‘too important to speak to patients’ receptionists as per Monday.

She spent 10 minutes asking me how I had got that number. Told me ..

We are very busy. We cannot answer patient queries. How did you get this number? We are very busy. We cannot answer patient queries. How did you get this number? We are very busy. We cannot answer patient queries. How did you get this number? ….again and again…

Eventually she asked for my name and number. She then said I would have to speak to the ‘secretary’ she did give me that number. She did attempt to put me through. But the line went dead.

I rang the new number. Left my phone on redial. 24 rings later it was answered.

Gave my name and number.

Yes I can see your results are here. I cannot give you them over the phone. Someone from the ‘team’ will ring you over the next few days.

So that’s that then. No one has rung of course. So now somewhere in London there is a pile of drugs which I have not collected. A tube of blood congealing in a tray. . A tube of pee growing bugs . A bit of paper with results gathering dust. But there they will stay…No help to anyone.

What a bloody ridiculous system. Anyone got any ideas what I do next?