Sunday – having not slept well I woke up at 5 in order to make a run for it – to London’s East End. The EXCEL centre. Bloody enormous place.

This all began a few months ago when the Danish ‘global’ team asked me if I would speak at the European Association of Urologists and Nurses Conference. EAU and EAUN 2026.

Just as an aside – why they have to separate Urologists ( doctors) and Urology (nurses), I just do not know. However at least they were to gather under one roof.

I had turned down the offer of hotel accommodation on account of the ease of getting to London.

Unfortunately checking trains the night before – I realised there were none! I set my alarm and in a sleepless night worrying I’d miss the alarm – off I ventured. Taxi. Luton. Train. West Hampstead. Tube Canning Town. DLR Regents Square. Epic. And arrived dead on time at 9! Amazing

My ‘minders’ met me and coffees poured phew. However many times urology warns gains caffeine I’ve yet to discover one who follows the advice. We rehearsed our panel session. Mic’d up and off we went.

The session was about uti s – urinary tract infections. A panel of experts microbiology , hospital consultants nurse and researchers. Then me.

As the others spoke I tried to look sensible (!) . It did occur to me that the audience was beginning to tire. Showing an avid interest in their phones, goody bags and lunchboxes.

As I stood for my slot I just don’t know what came over me. Some kind of teacher brainiac. I told them all to stand up. They obeyed. Wiggle jiggle- they did, and play a game ‘who has the strongest bladder’. They laughed. I dared not make eye contact with my minders. This was not what we’d rehearsed. I managed to get them all sat down, got back to my script and somehow got to the end with the audience laughter ringing in my ears. No idea what the Danes thought.

I extracted myself fast and as arranged met Daughter 2 at the St Pancras champagne bar. This magical place by the Eurostar trains, allows you to press a button in your private booth and miraculously a glass of champagne is popped in front of you. Amazing. We’d decided we’d better go our separate ways having decided a second glass would make us miss trains and tubes and indeed knock me out such was my exhaustion. When ….what do you think arrived? Two more glasses. ‘On the house’ the lovely waitress announced. Happy Mother’s Day! Well I missed my train. Got another. Fell asleep. And eventually got home! Happily tipsy.

My excel terrors forgotten.

This week sees a GP appointment to discuss the clinic letter from Mrs Microbiology. This is ridiculous. Nothing to discuss. Just do what she says.

There’s an appointment in Luton for the numb jaw. And an appointment in London for the non functional SNS . Sacral nerve stimulator machine. Supposed to be annual checks but that hasn’t happened. Just like Dipstick ‘s appointment – not happening. After all it’s only 8 months since the MRI why rush?

Jérôme has engineered a neat trick. In copying over the last ultra sound (2024) we realised it mentioned TWO kidneys of mine. Well I never I passively fired off an email all round. Surely wrong patient. Better do another. Urgent! Jerome was of course the only one to reply. As we know it’s just a stupid template report, generic, could be anyone’s, and no one had read to date.

But the sun is shining and onwards we go.