It has not stopped raining. Anyone anywhere seen any sunshine?

Been a busy month with release of podcast which Pete Reed , yes THE Pete Reed Olympian, produced exactly a year ago. I was so honoured to be invited to speak on episodes 12 and 13. Much as I hate hearing myself , Pete guides each episode through with such empathy, understanding and grit.

Pete asks for no pity points himself, having suffered a spinal stroke after winning Olympic gold in rowing 2008, 2012 and 2016. His naval career came to a juddering halt, not because consigned to desk – bound and wheelchair enabled, but because he kept having uti’s and was so unreliable. One minute he was racing marines and naval officers up hills the next he was lying in hospital indwelling catheter and all.

What he explains in his first episode is how the shock of suddenly facing the basics of life , peeing and poo’ing. Just the most undignified and taboo topics.

Not only but also he and I have our photos on the more global marketing for ‘project- Luja’ . This is a disposable mini catheter for men and women. The original one for females was called Eve. 10 years ago I was photo shooted ( is that a word?) for Eve.

Fast forward 10 years and Pete and I were in a London last summer, photoshoot for Luja. The difference? Instead of two holes draining your bladder and suctioning in the bladder lining, now we have Luja. Lots of holes. No suctioning. No repositioning and speed to pee. A game changer which means we have to go for Killing Eve.

But others prefer Eve. Others prefer a bag attached. Others prefer other products. That’s all absolutely ok – no bladder no urethra is the same. It’s personal.

So if you see my face on the media that’s why. The blue T shirt is not mine. I hated it!

Meanwhile jaw is still numb so I’m going in for de- numbness injections.

Wires have broken. Crowns have fallen out. But Luton and Bedford doing as best they can to communicate and sort.

Bladder totally bonkers. No idea what is happening. Jerome is not available and his secretary has changed her email address. That took a few weeks for me and indeed lovely pharmacy in Bedford to work out. Hopefully we can sort this week.

Blood pressure wise the instructions of Mr Nephrology to my GP have not been actioned. In fact GP pharmacist sent message saying I had face to face medication review. Monday.

Monday , that got cancelled!

Tuesday, he rang me. One ring and rang off. No chance to pick up.

Later Tuesday he rang again. Two rings. Then rang off.

I rang surgery. ‘you are caller number 18 …. ‘ I hung on … eventually they answered. Pharmacist will call you in 3 weeks. WTF. Fighting to maintain politeness I managed to convey my dismay.

Two hours later pharmacist rang again.

Ah he said we need to speak to Mr Nephrology… backwards we go.

I just give up!

Rain rain – reflects the whole nhs’ness.

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We’re expected to be on high alert all the time — phone glued to us, volume up, never switching off. It feels like we’re not allowed to have a life, just in case something happens. It’s exhausting, and it isn’t sustainable. We need help, and we need a system that doesn’t demand constant vigilance from patients just to function.

That said all is sort of ok compared to 2025, and pneumonia asthma sepsis etc receding and breathing!

March cannot come quickly enough.

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