I think I’ve said before and no doubt will many times more. My writing this blog gets all the medical stuff out of my head.

Breaking news is that my spinal implant battery has finally run out. 10 years old. It’s finally stopping. Not only but also one of the leads has migrated. It seems that the Baron , as in BAron of pain anaesthesia consultant etc has not really retired. Yet. So. He is to be asked to fix the battery , the lead and wow how amazing is that.

Meanwhile jaw dropping, no I mean jaw breaking, operation will be postponed further as after months of procrastination I’ve been told the pre op assessment blood test says I’m anaemic. I have instructions to go buy iron tablets. Then go back to pre op and start again. Frankly a. I don’t care b. Hurrah more delays. C. Having had goodness only knows how many blood tests and this has never come up before. Am I bovvered? No. I went and got some ferrous wotsit from my friendly chemist.

Bladder is bonkers. Totally. I just grab any anti biotic in my bag as I drive along to Milton Keynes. Not sustainable but- somehow I have to get through this.

In other news, after my mother’s funeral my Dad had several falls. I took him to AandE so many times they thought I worked there. Wednesday we were finally discharged into the night. Back to care home. Thursday after yet another bad fall, I went over to be with him whilst the ambulance yet again was called. I found him scrunched up on the floor. I lay on the floor, next to him tried to keep him talking. I’d been trying to write a speech for the next day. I was a keynote speaker at the RCN. Tricky to prepare when the week had been spent in AandE. I started verbalise my thoughts out loud. “Ladies and gentlemen…thank you for inviting me to…

Dad sort of groaned

On I went “it is my pleasure to be here ….Im not defined by what happened to me but I am determined to make it better for those who find themselves in this sort of…..blah blah…

Dad snored …fast asleep!

The rest of that day was a blur of ambulances, Aand E yet again, and finally he was admitted to a ward. Friday knackered I overslept. Got a cancelled delayed shortened train to London. Sat on the floor ( always seem to be on the floor), wrote some kind of speech and got to London. I started with a game – made it up as I went along. The prize 🏆 for the delegate with the strongest bladder? A catheter shaped pen. You don’t want to know.

There is a myth. Well a belief. That once in hospital all will be well. The patient will be fixed up. Made better. Calmness restored. I really thought that. I really thought that after the weekend he’d be back to his nursing home. Nothing ever happens in hospital at weekends.

But. Sunday his condition was so bad a Doctor rang me to say he had a bleed on the brain. From the fall at the care home. He must have hit his head. Not only but also he has pneumonia. He also has kidney infection. He has aspirated some fluid too. He’s on mega antibiotics. Oxygen 10 litres and all sorts of nebulisers etc. He has lost use of arms and legs. But he can smile.

One of my sisters and I were invited to meet the Consultant and his SHO yesterday. Our siblings listened via what’s app tech. You know it’s bad when the medics offer you tea and coffee.

Yes it’s bad. We wait. We keep him comfortable. I attempted to shave him today. He ended up sheep shorn whiskering. I need my brother to lend him his Turkish wax kit. #Dont ask! .

Dad’s sister, my aunt, came today. You should have seen Dad’s face light up. We chatted. We giggled. She and her daughter such good fun. Dad appeared to be asleep. Until, a new Doctor person arrived. I thought he was a porter. My aunt thought he was a physio. Who knows? Said person, Asked Dad if he was in pain. Dad seemed to whisper something. I bent nearer to hear …”Dad….where is your pain?” I am absolutely certain he answered …”….…my arse”.