After first night of nil by mouth operation was cancelled.

Second night of nil by mouth the night staff and I managed to acquire Coldplay tickets !

Third day operation happened. Very lovely registrar explained she had to dig around retrieve a bit of tree. Add a couple of stitches but keep the central area open to drain.

The relief the reduction in pain albeit morphine paracetamol and codeine enabled was euphoric. 6 hourly iv antibiotics to whack the cellulitis and eventually got home.

The stories of my fellow patients were, as ever, soon shared. How anyone let alone surgeons, policemen, social services etc etc imagine their conversations are private because the stupid blue curtains are drawn round a bed are deluding themselves.

Jamming in ear plugs and turning up the volume helps. A bit.

We soon got to know each others ailments and indeed in a nod to my teacher skills I led a little bed swimming to the delight of two ladies. One elderly one very young!

Young 24 yr old. She has a minder to shut her up. But the minder is just on her phone. So she yells swears has no earphones and in fact makes the rest of us laugh. Then there’s lovely lady who is in a wheelchair all day can’t speak but has a massive smile whenever we make eye contact. 24 yo makes her laugh too. Then opposite me is lady who I think I’ve seen in co- op

She’s been real ill. Her adult sons get yelled at by her because they pace about. Noise levels huge. I’ve got EarPods phew. Watching slow horses. Oops 24 yo shouting again- she ordered pizza for her supper but they’ve run out !!!
Many more stories …

I donated earphones to a new patient as I left – like jailbirds we help each other.

Inevitably discharge was delayed by pharmacy. Why why why. I actually said I’d come back next day. But clever nurse delayed that idea by changing my dressings but having to rush off in the middle of that. Smart move ! Daniel came back twice to pick me up. Chuntering about his baked potatoes and car park fees.

To add to the entertainment on offer the ward cleaning lady was approximately 4 foot tall. 90 years old. And a total legend.