Monday.
Up at dawn to catch a train to London. Appointment with RAF at 0830.
Not knowing what RAF was, is or will be, I had failed to find a human to ask. But strongly suspecting it could be a Dipstick clinic I felt the need to attend. The risk of being a DNA ‘did not attend ‘ and the risk of NHS expelling me was why I went

Train 1 cancelled. Train 2 late and only 4 coaches. Standing room only. Made it with 10 minutes to spare.

Receptionist said I was not on her list. Asked me to spell my name. So I did.

E for Echo. M for Mike ……S for sugar.

Ah she said F.

No S S for sugar. We tried again. .

She told me I must’ve been cancelled. I thrust my patient portal at her… ERIC software. Ah she said that’s hopeless. It doesn’t give your hospital number. WTF. The software doesn’t give the unique identifier. That’s ridiculous.

I tried again. I think it’s with the RAF I said.

Oh . Was the reply. You’re reconstructed?!

Duly despatched to the reconstructed waiting room. The reconstructed patients gathered. And waited. And waited. Not a doctor to be found. Some poor man kept wondering around. Maybe a locum. He was muttering. I have lost the team.

Meanwhile a mad patient told everyone she’d be pouring petrol on us all and setting fire to us.

Eventually an hour or so later my name was called. A young doctory person. No idea who. Told me Dipstick was off sick. He had no idea why I was there. Neither did I. So we agreed I’d go home and he’d call security for the mad woman. He did worry about the MRI report mesh etc. I told him not to fret. There’s another MRI next week.

Back home I went. £££ the poorer and none the wiser.

When I was a teacher we went to great lengths to check our students lesson plans etc for whoever had to cover us in the event we were ill. We made sure any tricky decisions were clear or postponed or followed up. # Just saying. Next appointment May 2024. Nobody actually cares do they?

Then it was off to Bristol for the Institute of Mechanical Engineers ‘ In Continence the engineering challenge’. I wish they would call it Continence. That way everyone would know that this affects us all. We all have continence in one way or another.
I was due to co chair the patient panel. I’ve done this before with pleasure and no stress. It’s a real privilege to hear the lived experiences of others. It’s an amazing learning opportunity to hear the ideas, the progress, or lack of , the plans from academics and front line doctors and nurses too. I’d suggested we highlight youngsters and a young parent was added to my panel, with a paediatric nurse giving the keynote. Other speakers explained the work involving adults young older and oldest in our communities. Quite apart from my own health I could relate to the sessions highlighting children ( my grandchildren) and the elderly ( my parents ).



This time the patient panel was fiesty. No meekly compliant patient to be seen or heard. One patient did his wheelchair raising thing to see over all the audience. He shouted at a member of the audience who’d annoyed him. One supplier heckled another patient. A carer at the back kept interrupting. With long forgotten teacher skills, we the two chairing it brought some peace and harmony to the room. I talked the wheelchair down from the ceiling and made up some funny but true stories to make them laugh. I told them the story of the cardigan from Marks and Spencer’s. Better than any pad I know when the bladder goes bonkers unexpectedly. ! Looking back we grinned – no one would forget that session. wow tensions across the stakeholders are perhaps a reflection of the state of the NHS stakeholders all. Stress. Frustration. Exhaustion and despairing. Who could blame them.

Home after a night in a Premier Inn. I could hear the snoring of someone in the room next door and out of no where the left ie remaining kidney went into painful spasms. No idea what was going on. I ate antibiotics. Tried to instil some too. That last no more than 10 minutes before it all came out. What a waste. . Eventually must’ve fallen asleep again. Knackered I drove home through the dark chilly night. Patients don’t get paid for these things. Not even the hotels. It’s volunteer work. As one amazing lady wheel chair explained she is enabled by the chair not disabled. She was so eloquent so direct.

ready to speak out. This is how she put it:

You can all go home and forget about this. You can retire and leave us to it. But we have this forever. It’s not life threatening it’s life ruining .