Where to begin? April was a roller coaster.
My awesome friend Nadine, chief supporter of blog and me, explained her husband had died. A truly great man beaming smile and traditionalist. He felt a woman’s place was in the home, that is until he married the powerhouse that is Nadine, indeed his children (3 daughters 2 sons) made sure of his modernisation!

Then there was the build up to my mother’s kidney removal operation. A large tumour was detected in October. 2022. Along with an aneurysm nearby. The urological surgeon felt he could do the operation. The pre op assessment in January followed the script no doubt devised by some manager person. 20 information leaflets. Which I précis’d down to a sheet of A4. The prehab nurse Elena, also saw her that day. She merely produced packets of electrolytes. But no one, no one, not even her GP , despite my ranting, actually saw her face to face between January and April 27TH. She hasn’t eaten. She is weak. Frightened. Unable to walk far. I took her to hospital at 6:00 am . My Rottweiler-reception -avoidance skills are good and thus I just stayed with her all the time. Elena arrived told mum is was a straightforward operation. Said she’d be home next day. Clearly had not read the notes! Registrar consented her. She had gown on. Ready to go. Anesthetist arrived. Consent signed again. He spelt out risks. He gave her a cursory examination. Said she’d be ‘going’ to theatre in the next 5 minutes. He ambled off to check that there was an ICU bed for her afterwards. We waited. And waited. And waited. An hour later into the privacy ( not) of the curtains round her chair,arrived Consultant Urologist Consultant ICU. Registrars. Nurses. Loads of them. Long story short. They had decided it was too dangerous to operate. 87 year old. Aneurysm. Open not laparoscopic. Palliative. Macmillan. Pain Team. Investigation launched. Blah blah blah.

Pain team lady came along. Asked mum what she wanted. Mum said ‘nothing’ !
I said :have you read the notes? She hadn’t. I said ok. Let me explain. Morphine was ordered!

Nightmares are made of this. I gather the ICU consultant was the one to call it. The right decision. But so very late. What does that do to mum’s state of mind? We, her children? My Dad? Her friends?


The next two days I took her back and forth to hospital.

Fortunately the long weekend has given us a chance to recalibrate.

I don’t know how this will pan out. But for now she’s back to playing bridge and burning suppers for Dad!


Meanwhile I’m coughing like a smoker. Asthma clinic are trying to help with copious steroids. Bladder is more annoyed than ever so I’m ramming in antibiotics.

Not only but also the Difficult -asthma -clinical -trial has been halted. They struggled to recruit enough ( difficult) patients.

What an awful waste of NIHR funding. Research jobs. Careers. Equipment. Paperwork. Lab work. Everything totally gone. Awful.

However a new drug has been authorised by NHS. Some manager target loving person has decreed it needs 88 days until it’s prescribed?! WTF. anyhow. I’m to get it. More tests lungs stuff. But thankfully I’m ‘in the system’

In other news Westminster beckoned. A meeting of the All Party Parliamentary Group for Bladder and Bowel Health. Our chair sadly died. The co chair has stood down as an MP and our sponsor from the House of Lords has died. It’s been tough finding new officers. But we have a new chair. He was late ( division bells) so we started without him. I’d been asked to speak. He is apparently difficult to engage. Difficult to make him listen. Difficult to get him to concentrate. Using all my teachery experience I told my jokes, he did not laugh, told my story in brief , he looked a little worried, I explained the National Project his eyes drooped….I thrust a lady catheter into the air…a male catheter too…longer I explained because you men are shall we say ‘longer’ . He looked green and sick and worried and panicked…he was hooked…no getting away from the truth. …I explained the maths behind Cornish continence cars keeping patients at home safely. He sat with rapt attention…asked loads of questions, easy to answer…because there is no getting away from the fact that continence is a taboo, low priority and hopelessly underfunded area of concern. ….A tremendous day. Many questions. Much energy.