Busy week.

I have not seen a GP for nearly 4 years now. Virtual appointments and long phone queues are the norm.

Meanwhile it seems I was meant to have an MRI last year. Did I know that ? NO. But all of a sudden that is happening next week. 

What for and who requested it? God knows. 

I have emailed urology at hospital. No reply. Of course. 

Then I had a phone appointment with awesome Ms Infectious Diseases Consultant. I have seen her, in person, over the last years. This week she put into place midline to be inserted. By interventional radiology. They are amazing nice lovely team. But ERIC the computer told me to be there for 8 am. So I was. No one turned up til 9.00 Reception stared at her screen and mumbled nothings.

Soooo frustrating. Then it was round to the clinic for OPAT the outpatients at home/ infectious diseases /tropical diseases clinic. This the gloomy building behind the homeless camp off Tottenham Court Road. As you step through the sleeping bags and detritus, you enter the building via the ‘Freedom’ kiosk which serves the STD clinic on the ground floor. Kiosk was back up and running again as I wandered through. What on earth all the sprays and boxes and bits and bobs are for….I am glad to say I have not much idea. 

Then it’s upstairs to the aforementioned OPAT the outpatients at home/ infectious diseases /tropical diseases clinic /delete as applicable. There I am greeted like an old friend. I hand out chocolates and laughs. My take home bags of drugs,needles,syringes and wipes and sharps and and and have already been assembled by the incredible CNS. She asks me to sit in her office while we await a spare room for the necessary test of my memory. Can I self administer these antibiotics into my vein safely? While I wait she hands me a book. here she says I think this will make you laugh.

It’s a book called ‘Fifty Sheds Damper’. I think . I will look it up because I need to give it to my friend Claire. She will LOVE it. It is absolutely awful and my god did I laugh. Loudly. So so funny. Actually it would sit well in the ‘Freedom’ shop. I leave that to your imagination.

In other news NHS also woke up to invite me to an MDT at Luton and Dunstable. I have often thought Id like to be at my own MDT. My own advocate. My own story. My own quality of life. Well here was my opportunity to explain my issues with dodgy jaw. clicks. and the rest. I counted 10 people in the room. Lots of photos, gums, teeth, jaw all counted and graphically described. It was amazing. It was 2 and half hours of stuff. Even so, we laughed. I had remembered to bring my book for the lovely consultant I had met previously. I had promised a copy for her and her secretary who somehow manage to manipulate the system beset with managers telling them how to do what they know how to do. She opened the book . The first paragraph she read out ‘ knickers….Whatever happens to the paper knickers in theatre. The mystery of the paper knickers. They are not on your bum when you wake up. Where are they? Why even bother to put them on in the first place?…’

The room of earnest max fax doctors…just laughed and laughed and when they stopped they started to laugh again. One poor trainee who looked about 12 was so confused. Another one started to explain …but gave up. 

Not only but also I had normal dentist appointment. Which was for fitting my new mouth guard thing. Lovely Pep calls it a tanner. Dunno why. I just say ‘Tena’…that makes them all laugh too. 

He will help me decipher the MDT report which is already being sent. Efficiency or what? 

Then just to make the week even more busy I went to see my foot consultant. I’ve had a bloody painful foot. Long story. Anyhow it seems I have broken my left foot. Metatarsial …plate…something…multiple…whatsit crap argh no cannot be…

With all these appointments I have got in a muddle. Full bladder to dental x ray. Toothbrush and paste to Microbiology and OPAT. I limped into foot x ray carrying toothpaste. Tena tanner whatever… things have gone a bit discombobulated.

Thank you for so many messages about my parents. We are no further forward. MDT for mum was on 25th. That resulted in a weird nonsensical clinical letter. It was on the hospital portal. She cannot access. But I can. She is trying to stay stoic in dreadful circumstances. She told me this week that she was asked by the dentist. ( Same dentist as me) if she was on Denplan insurance. Which she is. But she kept saying yes I have Petplan.  She …made them all laugh…and eventually realised why!