What a week. The news is full of the story of Harold’s necklace, dog bowl and Willy. do we really need to know all this crap ?

Way more importance is the shambles of the government handling the hospital crisis. There have been some brilliant pieces written and tweeted. The emergency meeting at Downing Street seemed a good idea. But the only gem that has emerged is to push patients into care homes. Great plan.. But there are no staff in care homes. Doh! I am going to try to get into the discussion …watch this space.

Meanwhile Dad is at home and somehow ok enough. Mum meanwhile still tells everyone, that she told the paramedics, the registrar in resus and anyone else she came across, that Dad had had kidneys and bacon for lunch the day he became ill. Oh my goodness… there but for the grace of… peuk…

Thursday. Trains on strike again. No trains. I drove into London for clinical trials re asthma. As I’ve said . It is absolutely surreal. Car Parking space is reserved for me. As I crawl along some of my old London haunts at 20 mph, I couldn’t help wondering at the difference to attending an appointment. 1.Car park. 2.Greeted with offers of coffee. 3. Chatter with Consultant, his Registrar, his research assistant and Q the young boffin 4. Multiple tests, blood, lungs, peak flows, nitrogen….hours of it. Amazing. Then I get my blinded drugs. Could be placebo. Could be the real thing. No one knows. Armed with my electronic diary I set off home 20 mph through the streets of London I know so well. One funny ism…. the research assistant asked me if I was coping alright with my electronic diary of twice daily peak flows.

Er Yes I replied. Easy. No problem,

Oh that’s good she answered. ‘ We wanted to know if the elderly could cope with it’.

God its been a roller coaster few weeks with very little sleep, I must look really rough…and elderly!

Then by Friday it was back to Milton Keynes Hospital. One of my sisters on Dad duties, me with taking mum to see surgeon about her tumour. How we can make this funny I do not know. But of course we did. The Rottweiler receptionist ( I remember her from taking Dad here ) was as evil as before. Refused to speak to anyone. All the poor patients were told to sit down by the huge assistant. Anyone with the temerity to proffer a hospital letter at Rottw got waved away. It seems she could not start until the computer had warmed up . FFs. Eventually one lady and her partner, tip toed up. They got directed to Bay 1. I giggled with her as I sidled up. We got told to go to Bay 1 too. In Bay 1 we laughed and giggled with the HCA. It quickly became apparent that patient 1 should not have been in Bay 1 at all. OMG did we laugh. Especially as Rottweiler could be heard saying she had not told them the wrong bay and also that we were too noisy. That just made us worse….! ridiculous in the circumstances.

Mum ( and I ) were summoned in to see the Surgeon . He was probably imagining a frail little old bird of 87 who he really did not want to treat and lacking major symptoms could be fobbed off with a reassuring aspirin or two. Well he got a shock and a half. The little, as in 5 foot nothing, old lady is indeed 87 but she had done her research. She challenged his every opinion. She told him she had much to do. Her Russian literature course, her bridge, her Great Grandchildren, BFG wedding, she was not about to give in,I kept quiet wrote her notes for her as ever. Never said anything which might allude to the fact I maybe know a bit or two about, urology, kidneys and hospitals. I said not a word. His estimated appointment time over ran so much I am guessing the rest of his clinic was screwed. Anyhow the tough old bird of 87 will now be having her kidney removed within the two week pathway decreed. The full story is not mine to tell. But inevitably I am involved!

It’s a busy start to the year. But still we can laugh. Still we can make the best of it. s…Roller coaster loops are never circular.

Meanwhile Jerome chatter station has some solutions to the NHS crisis:

following on from the SoS thinks that discharge lounges are a good idea. ( bollocks)

Then the tweet came through that Secretary of State had witnessed the idea of using ‘lifts’

As mentioned before, the idea that discharge lounges are some sort of amazing innovation is bloody crap. Now we have the idea that lifts could be good…FFS this is not real

we chattered on….

next week our “venflon” for use as a cannula for giving multiple

injections will be launched. That s going to catch on for sure.

Then after that we’re going to let people know about gloves for sterility and so you don’t get blood fluids and stuff o your hands.

The there’s the call bell which is marvelous device, if its in reach, to contact a nurse for help, if she or he is not already dealing with another patient.

Then we are up for aprons, on a roller, with no perforations.

Then we are going to champion the carpark, which is a misnomer as there are no cars anywhere near, because now its where critically unwell patients are looked after in their own survival pod ( used to be called an ambulance in old language) and other patients not suitable for the discharge lounge can be looked after in ‘local community step down facilities’ (used to be called a portacabin in old language)

Yes we really don’t see any problems that people have been moaning about in the news…its all been sorted.