One day, there will be nothing medical happening, nothing to write about here and I’ll be climbing Everest or something. As if!

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called Outliers. It is excellent, if like me, the geek in you wants to understand factors that extraordinary individuals achieve accomplishments beyond the understanding of the average person. He explains the 10,000-hour rule and describes how it takes time to develop to become an expert at something. I’m thinking, as you might have guessed, I maybe a medical outlier!

This week my focus was teeth /lungs /eyes. To explain.

….

I was back at the difficult asthma clinic at Bart’s London. Difficult patients or difficult asthma I’m not quite sure which.

Called up in front of chief Mr Asthma Consultant he wanted to see my latest blood counts. His software will not link with any other. It was his idea to tap into software Eric. Well, fumbling around retrieving Wi-Fi codes as there was no mobile signal. Eventually I broke into Eric and handed him my phone. He couldn’t find what he wanted. ( That’s an Eric thing). Then I had a go at breaking into the NHS app. Whilst this was happening I mentioned his letters were being sent to Cornwall. Not my home. Hah he nearly laughed. You are lucky to get any. After a while, as I worried about the ever growing queue outside he found something which he reckons means I’m in a 5% group of patients who cannot be eligible for biogen or whatever it is he’s thinking of. It’s about eosinophils apparently. He also asked if I’d join a clinical trial. Sure said I. Inwardly laughing. There’s no way I’ll be recruited. It’s a prophylactic antibiotic trial. Hah. I’d be such a useless candidate. Outlier.

I was despatched to see the clinical nurse specialist who whilst nice enough, insisted I sit and watch a video on the best technique for every puffer I have. That is 3 X 15 minute videos. Then she wrote out an asthma plan. But I had to change it because Mr Asthma wants me in his hot clinic the moment I’m symptomatic. How exciting. Not. Then I had to grab one of those supermarket type tickets for the cheese counter or fish or whatever. But this was for blood test. More eosinophils..outliers! The waiting room was overflowing. Nowhere to sit. Two hours later bloods done I wandered back to Farringdon station and home. A whole day take up with breathing !

Next day was eyes. Apparently my macular degeneration regeneration improvement is research worthy. Some drug interaction has been reported. Well seems obvious really. Outlier again.

Then teeth … too boring a story. It’s my jaw click thing. Lovely dentist that he is, got me to wear a mouth guard years ago. He calls it a tanner. I keep saying Tena. To the amusement of the dentist nurses. Mr Pep the dentist is Spanish – not sure tanner and Tena translate! In a bid for normality I suggested my friend Sarah had the same jaw Tena issues. Alas no. Dr Pep said. ‘You are way more complicated than Sarah’. FFS not even my mouth is normal. Outlier ….. tanner tenner tena….arghhhhh. However

, I did manage a normal tiny filling. Well, that was until the drill bit fell off. Thankfully I was so surprised I didn’t swallow. Too late nurse stuck her suction thing in my throat. No need. Lovely Pep had grabbed it somehow and wow did he visibly pale ! We all laughed. Nervously! I cheered them up saying good job it wasn’t a tena .

Apart from all that, infection rumbled on. Gent instils every night didn’t kill it. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll get culture results and reset the antibiotics plan.

Onwards upwards next week might even get boring. With any luck.