Monday: my bladder went bonkers. Kept spontaneously erupting. That’s a positive about zoom. No one could see the puddle I sat in whilst I listened to some old bat moaning about the NHS. I had turned off my SNS because the pain it has been causing is unbearable.

Tuesday: Cannot remember much except feeling horrendous pain spiralling across my back.

Wednesday: Shivers and shakes started. I could not think what was going on. Total confusion. But thanks to Jerome once more found myself in a taxi , hospital bound. The rest is a blur.

Going through the gateway of A and E was utter chaos. The nonchalent guards, Oops. I mean receptionists kept telling me I was not on the ‘system’. Eventually I was ‘found’ and told the wait time was more than 5 hours. I really could not sit in there for 1 hour let alone more than 5. I was thinking I could stay with my children and return later. This was quite a good plan except I could not stop shaking and shivering and tearfully trying to explain. Hurrah at last someone took me off to a cubible and a trolley. They told me I was in ‘retention’ beyond arguing I just let them say what ever they liked. In retention was the opposite of the bladder emptying situation I was in. However, they pumped in some gentamicin. ( antibiotic) and found a silicone catheter after a search of the hospital . Latex is standard. Latex and me do not tolerate each other.

I was on the trolley in A and E until about 4.00. am. Lots of really ill people all around. Nurses so kind so busy. The cannula was put in my right arm right in the crook of my elbow. Every time I moved it set off an alarm. I slept not a wink and tried to reach the warm jug of water just out of my reach.

They kept saying I was being moved to the urology part of the hospital across town. That never did happen. I was moved ‘temporarily’ to a ward. The very same ward my daughter had worked in covid redeployment. All her dreadful stories kept swirling around my head like a desperate nightmare.

At some point on Thursday morning I was given two paracetamol. The iv saline was taken off because the alarm kept going off.

I was not allowed my ‘at home’ normal medication because they had not been written up. I was not allowed stronger painkillers because…they had not been written up.

A doctor came along. Really nice. Really understanding. Immediately sorted slow release tramadol painkillers. Which we later discovered are not available. She explained that the antibiotic recommended by microbiology was not available. yet.

She explained that as it was the long jubilee weekend nothing was happening for 4 days. But there might be a urology bed sometime over the weekend.

Tired, exhausted and tearful the day wore on. Jubilee warm water placed just out of reach. As happens in hospital the four of us ladies in the waiting bay soon knew every personal detail of each other.

My messages:

Hold the front pages. A nice doctor just came. She says my kidney is famous. I nearly smiled. She says they are waiting for microbiology to advise. She says I’ll go to abcd ( the urology hospital) when they can find a bed. She’s written up painkillers. So after 12 hours wait a chink of light Ffff

Apparently the antibiotics a dr prescribed are not available. The painkillers she prescribed are not available. Bed is not available. Nurses are trying to speak to a doctor . It’s rough in here. I need a sleep. And something to eat.and a drink of water

A bit later nice dr returned. Apologised no painkillers but would change script. No antibiotics. yet.

I asked what antibios had been suggested. Fosfo.

Ah said I.I have some at home. And so by mutual consent and a promise from me to return if worse, I was discharged to get my antibiotics, some sleep and cold fresh water. The discharge letter says: reason for admission Urinary Retention No mention of infection