In an attempt to answer many kind messages for which I am eternally grateful here is a quick summary of the last week.

The new battery went in which was a good thing. What no one really realised was that the old battery was bigger. So… long story short the new super new tech battery has more room to float in fluid stuff and stick out of my back so catches on things. Then I charged it and it got so hot the nerves down my leg went nuts.

I turned it off. GP nurse changed dressings said it looked infected. Ring hospital. I did. No reply. Tried again tried emails. Nothing. 

Last resort was of course ever at the end of an email. Jerome. Somehow he woke up Dipstick. Avoided ERIC the computer and there I was back in hospital. 

IV antibiotics for infection. Scan. X-ray. Nice nurses. Nice long tall Registrar. Spent the day on trolley in A E and the night in a bed on a ward. I was told the new battery would be removed and I’d be in hospital for a while.

Saturday morning dawned sunny and bright. I cannot tell you my surprise to see none other than Jerome walk in. He checked the dressings. Looked knowledgeable when the SHO , who looked all of 12 showed him a photo on his phone. I’m guessing a bum shot in A and E. poor Jerome.

Laughing and joking as ever we made the excellent plan to send me home. Pharmacy not withstanding that only took 6 hours.

Jerome commented Unusual that pharmacy the rate limiting step….
That’s about 6 hrs from decision to action
They should bear that in mind the next time they are saying expedite the discharge…

Me: I think discharging the pharmacy expeditiously might be of benefit

Me again: Sorry you’ve had complex day. Lucky patients though I can’t help thinking they’d rather you than Andrology ( Mr Andrology was to be on call. But Jerome did instead) Andrology- if like me you’ve not heard of it google will help explain.

So here we are Day 12.

Went into London to see Clinical Nurse Specialist. (CNS). She knows me well. Having waited in the gloomy waiting room. Where one couple argued over what alcohol and smoking units to put on his questionnaire, only to be told they were not meant to be there. In fact none of us were. The grumpy nurse told us we should have had telephone appointments. I gathered my bag and tried to leave. But was recalled. CNS was there. She was so dam grumpy I nearly walked out. She’s normally brilliant. Eventually we agreed the bloody battery charger wasn’t working. She tried to ring Medtronic the supplier. They didn’t know how to fix. So she will ring me sometime. Meanwhile she changed the programs and the sensation moved from leg to bum.


I got back to St Pancras fast. Got onto a train and … believe it or not dialled into Westminster. A meeting of the All Party Parliamentary Group APPG. on continence. Much energy. Much work being done. To my infinite relief with seconds to spare I was in my car ready to read my agenda item. I had been asked to represent the NHS National Bladder and Bowel Project (NBBP). I did it. God only knows what I said and only said pain in the bum once. I think.

Bonkers.

Tonight the battery is on but the heat is bad and my leg is painful.

As for Dipstick. Not heard from him at all.

Tomorrow is another day.