It’s all a bit strange in Covid world. The instructions/ announcement from Boris and team, were so delayed on BBC, I think the nation had got rather tiddly waiting, and that meant all the slides and colours and numbers just blurred into nonsense.

Then mass testing was announced. Some random army brigadier was wheeled in to explain how, because he wore army fatigues, he could organise Liverpool testing using cocktail sticks. Really the nation is truly Covid fatigued. As for the deputy medical office guy, he used some weird football own-goal analogy. We were all befuddled.

Then a another letter to tell me I am extremely vulnerable

I can go out but must stay at home ?! I can have a support bubble and help. I must not go to shops or pharmacies. No spam. Yet.
Using support bubble status Iwent to check on my parents. They are coping. My mum confessed to bladder issues and thought I might help. #NoShitSherlock. We now have an oncology nurse on home visits and she is sorting useless gp.
My list of jobs they wanted doing included ‘ find the recycling bin’ so I got my shoes on, I used my phone as a torch and stumbled around outside to find it. My mum looking so confused redirected me to her study. Ah. I said. You mean the shredder bin.

No no she repeated the recycling bin. He’s moved it.

God it was the icon for bin on her pc. It was there all the time . She swore blind it wasn’t. I made it bigger and moved it. Ffs!

As for urology inLondon. What can I say. Despite all the reassurances it seems they did not contact Dipstick. He in fact thought I was still in hospital this week. He doesn’t think he is my consultant and says his patients have to wait til 2022 to see him. So what’s he doing in the meantime?
Then a letter arrived saying I had a ‘ procedure’ in December. I emailed the 12 year old manager. Lovely boy. He rang me. Yes he said. Urology did not book that. It’s Infectious Diseases. You better ask them at your appointment on Monday. Erm? Are they not all at the same hospital.
He said there was a meeting about my bladder implant on Monday too. Great I said. I’ll come. No he said. You cannot. The registrars do the meetings and emails. I guess the porters do the clinical decisions.

So. Monday there’s a meeting with goodness knows who about a patient none them have met with a view to doing nothing until,after 2022. Coincidentally, I will be in the hospital seeing infectious diseases. But they, bearing in mind the only team who knows me, will not be consulted?

It’s really simple. I need my suprapubic changed, by urology. I need my bladder implant removed and replaced, by urology. It was declared defunct, by urology, a year ago. I need a plan, from urology. I need urology. But urology are seemingly off until 2022. WTF.

Meanwhile nephrology haven’t managed to send a clinic letter. So gp is refusing the higher doses recommended. The clinic letter the consultant sent was just a long list of test results from 1901. mmm. Wrong button?

GP sounds really stressed. He says he’s organising cinemas for vaccine stations. The -70’ phials can defrost and last 5 days. Each phial has 950 vaccines. Each patient must be sat down and observed for 15: minutes after vaccine. Great I said. Run a movie. Get popcorn. Be fun. But.. imagine dropping a phial. Oops would be embarrassing!