This week started badly. Daughter 2 had her bike stolen. Outside the hospital where she works. Some scumbag cut through her D lock and made off with her only means of transport. She’d been avoiding public transport for the safety of her patients and indeed other passengers.. having been working in Covid land for the last weeks.
Bloody hell was I cross as she tearfully recounted the sorry tale and negotiated a crowd ed train home. Dam dam dam. We were both ‘all shook up’.

Then, the week somehow shuddered on…
I had been in hospital the week before. Temperature, shaking and shuddering. I didn’t stay long and returned home to try to get iv at home.
Well, as you might guess that did not quite work out. Poor Jerome tackled the GP surgery head on. He managed to get past Rottweilers R US. He spoke to a nice gp and requested assistance..That resulted in a visit to the hospital. No social distancing no masks gloves blood on the bathroom floor…. etc and the most miserable doctor I have ever encountered. He refused to take a history, ignored the very nice nurse‘s suggestions re allergies etc and pronounced ‘if London wanted iv London could do it themselves’

Great. My charm offensive explaining the oral antibiotics and gent instils were working well enough to fog the test results but were causing pewks and pain. My non medical diagnosis knew that I just am not absorbing the stuff… I was sure the infection would burble back. Fell on deaf ears.

Argh. I have been trying to break this cycle since March. I knew iv would work. Cutting a long story short Jerome intervened once more, even Saintly gp said he tried to get it done locally. All to no avail.

Off I trod back to London. The scene of chaos the week before. How calm it was this time. Fortuitously Daughter 2 socially-distance met me as my taxi pulled up. Bitter sweet to see her peering out of her mask and after so long not be able to hug her and see her grin. She helped carry bag and get some cold water, got me to the ward with the blessing of security who were not quite sure what to do with me.

Up on the ward, the nurses were amazing. Attention to detail. Chatter. Humour. Speedily getting the iv in, fluids in…..One minute sorting a poor weeping lady needing morphine the next reassuring another patient about paracetamol..  all patients had to have Covid tests. That caused anxiety until the results came back. All of us were Covid negative. One poor lady was so anxious she would catch it from the other 3 of us in the bay, she wore her mask all day all night. Must’ve been so uncomfortable not least because she had been in an RTAso her face mustve been really sore. She was convinced the rest of us were about to infect her.

After a negative covid I could be moved to a clean site, ie covid free. I was moved by bus-ambulance thingy to another part of the hospital a short ride away. The driver had wheeled me and bag, down to the main road outside. He then beckoned me forward into the traffic. So there was I in my best pjs , slipper socks,hospital issue, standing in the traffic. It turned out the passenger door was on that side. Dodging the cars I got in as the driver flung my bag in the back. I have often seen bedraggled men and women hopping through the traffic there always assumed they were homeless poor folks. Now I know its just patient transport…Obviously.

Second part of the hospital was much calmer quieter. I was put into a room for two beds. Just me. Bathroom was attached. The shower taps not very attached. But never mind. The other bed was stratospheric, large huge.

Iwas cared for by none other than Nurse Elvis. He was funny kept checking I was ok . I did not dare ask him the obvious question!. #BlueSuedeShoes #All shook up. He did explain the big bed was for a bariatric patient  Aha I said if we use that as a crash mat I can jump out the window. He reckoned we could try!

Nurse Lycra also great, knew all the tricks to kick iv lines into action, stop alarms alarming and gave shots of paracetamols which have a considerable advantage over bloody capsules. She also worked out the age old ‘how-to -discharge -a -patient- without- waiting-hours-for-pharmacy-conundrum’ indeed I think I’d still be there now. On account of their phone messaging service announcing they were shut!

She also insisted on collecting Pret orders of coffee , cold water, snacks and fruit. Daughter 2 had arranged those which with contact free deliveries. On the ping of my phone app, Lycra ran down to catch the delivery bag as it flew through the main door as Deliveroo bike accelerated past. Hospital food is always a bit yuck. I really wasn’t sure if I was drinking tea or coffee. Turns out it was soup! at 11.00am? Grated cheese on lettuce leaf was supper at 5.00pm. But the two nattering men in the room next door seemed happy enough. Lycra said they sat down together for meals. Still chattering nineteen to the dozen. Nice.

The night nurse was an amazing lady. Efficient and organised. We chatted through the complications of home meds. Told stories while we waited for on call to arrive after a cannula allergy block dam episode. She explained she was doing a business studies degree on her days or nights off. Just to stretch her brain a bit.

These people are amazing. They insist they are just doing their jobs. Without exception they suggest the Thursday nationawide ‘ clap’ is, well,  embarrassing. They say they don’t need it. Just be kind. Be considerate.

As for Jerome. Watching results remotely via the software I call Eric. He and I negotiated my release it went something like this:

Me: ‘team ‘ doctor says I’m to have 12 doses.
Jerome : I must’ve requested that..What’s your instincts?
Me : Dunno
Jerome : it’s a 49 51 vote. Countries have left Europe on this.
Me: Argh.

Jerome: Pros and Cons. Tomorrow is going to be sunny so might be good to travel today and rest at home tomorrow.

Me: Pro lockdown in the garden Con: Lockdown in here

Jerome: Garden sounds better. Merit in staying in hospital .

Me: Team want to talk to higher authority

Jerome: If the team ring me as the higher authority I will say….

Me: What will you say….

Jerome: …..Go.

After 9.

Unless I change my mind.

Obviously.

Me: Shit. If you change your mind I will jump out the window

Jerome: Go. Get vitamin D.

Me: Pro: gin at home Con: pub out the window here looks shut.

J: plan secure. go.

But don’t you
Step on my blue suede shoes
Well you can do anything
But stay off of my blue suede shoes…