So many amazing lovely messages. everyone has a story to tell a night mare to relate. But looking for positives everywhere.

We can do this and we will. I need to say that I did not mean you to worry….I am ok and so well looked after. This blog was always meant to be funny and to try and update not cause alarm! Massive apologies for that.

I am really alright and still laughing .

Meanwhile I must include a few more laughs and tears:

You are not having the best of times ; but how gallant are your dear parents… and thank goodness for Jerome who clearly is a star and thinks you are too.

I know how desperate you must be not to be able to help H and co, or see  L. And worrying about them all.

Keep as cheery as you can, which I know you do.

Much love as always, N

From CJ …this made me laugh….

That is weird – the old boy asked me today ‘how is Jacq Jacq?’

The weirdness is that his confusion has not gone away since his long operation and hospital stint in December. In fact he is showing many signs of dementia but of course a diagnosis won’t be possible for many months. The rules of lockdown are a complete mystery to him and he asks to go to the cricket club and the pub many times every day!! Every phone call with mates ends with him getting diary out so that they can come to dinner – thank god they can’t or I would need training as a domestic goddess.

I loved your father’s joke. Does he know the term Clap comes from the old French word  ‘Clapier‘ for brothels. I once worked in a Clap clinic – reason for interest and not personal experience!!

As a family we are all pretty lucky as no one having to travel to work so definitely feel for the front liners like Lou. Quite what history will make of all this – it seems a buggers muddle to me. T is happy in NZ where they now have virtually no cases because anyone arriving has to go into quarantine ( why not here?)

Anyway enough moaning and thanks for giving me a laugh tonight. Fingers crossed that all infections stay away from you.

Love C xx

and another that really resonates:

Are you feeling better now – pretzeling aside? Your parents crack me up. I have been reading and ‘enjoying’ (not enjoying what you have to go through) your manuscript, alas and albeit slowly. Slowly because every time I sit down somewhere ‘quiet’, the quiet is interrupted. With the promise of colder/rainier weather I will dig deeper for somewhere more hidden in the house. There is a cupboard in my bedroom…. Seriously, it will get read SOON.
See you in your pretzel xxx

Video for my mother from E….clihttps://drive.google.com/file/d/138-YQR5D3-TLVk-f3_4uyCGzs_szSBBW/view?usp=sharingck

and from MJ after last night’s Boris statement:

I think I’ve worked it out…

* 4 year olds can go to school but university students who have paid for their tuition and the accommodation that they aren’t living in, can’t go back to university.

* I can go to school with many 4 year olds that I’m not related to but can’t see one 4 year old that I am related to.

* I can sit in a park, but not tomorrow or Tuesday but by Wednesday that’ll be fine.

* I can meet one person from another household for a chat or to sunbathe but not two people so if I know two people from another household I have to pick my favourite. Hopefully, I’m also their favourite person from my household or this could be awkward. But possibly I’m not. In fact, thinking about it, I definitely wouldn’t be. But as I can’t go closer than 2m to the one I choose anyway so you wouldn’t think having the other one sat next to them would matter – unless two people would restrict my eyeline too much and prevent me from being alert.

* I can work all day with my colleagues but I can’t sit in their garden for a chat after work.

* I can now do unlimited exercise when quite frankly just doing an hour a day felt like I was some kind of fitness guru. I can think of lots of things that I would like to be unlimited but exercise definitely isn’t one of them.

* I can drive to other destinations although which destinations is unclear. I was supposed to be in Brighton this weekend. Can I drive there? It’s hundreds of miles away but no one has said that’s wrong.

* The buses are still running past my house but I shouldn’t get on one. We should just let empty buses drive around so bus drivers aren’t doing nothing.

* It will soon be time to quarantine people coming into the country by air… but not yet. It’s too soon. And not ever if you’re coming from France because… well, I don’t do know why, actually. Because the French version of coronavirus wouldn’t come to the UK maybe.

* Our youngest children go back to school first because… they are notoriously good at not touching things they shouldn’t, maintain personal space at all times and never randomly lick you.

* We are somewhere in between 3.5 and 4.5 on a five point scale where 5 is all of the virus and 1 is none of the virus but 2,3 and 4 can be anything you’d like it to be really. Some of the virus? A bit of the virus? Just enough virus to see off those over 70s who were told to self isolate but now we’ve realised that they’ve done that a bit too well despite us offloading coronavirus patients into care homes and now we are claiming that was never said in the first place, even though it’s in writing in the stay at home guidance.

* The slogan isn’t stay at home any more.So we don’t have to say at home. Except we do. Unless we can’t. In which case we should go out. But there will be fines if we break the rules. So don’t do that.

Don’t forget…

Stay alert… which Robert Jenrick has explained actually means Stay home as much as possible. Obviously.

Control the virus. Well, I can’t even control my dogs and I can actually see them. Plus I know a bit about dogs and very little about controlling viruses.

Save lives. Always preferable to not saving lives, I’d say, so I’ll try my best with that
one, although hopefully I don’t need telling to do that. I know I’m bragging now but not NOT saving lives is something I do every day.

So there you are. If you’re the weirdo wanting unlimited exercise then enjoy. But not until Wednesday. Obviously.

PS When can Year 7 go back to school? Not even asking for a friend!