Dipstick said it was ok to swim. So I did. He was aghast that it was open water.

Cleaner. Better. Fresher. I said.

Colder. he said. The spring fed lake near us somehow dissolves all the ‘stuff’. It’s warmer now too. The duck or heron or fish… that swim alongside, seem to put things in perspective.

For example: the last 3 or so months I’ve set my reminders at 6am to check the gp online bookings.

Under their new enhanced crap service, appointments are released 2 weeks and only 2 weeks in advance. The update is at 6 am. Easy.

Simple then to get medication updated. I just need one thing. Just one.

Well, my usual GP, never seems to appear on the booking list.

Actually there was one appointment , but I had an operation scheduled for that day! #awkward

So I tried messing up the repeat meds request. In the past I’ve put in a request for a medicine I’ve never had. That usually does the trick. He rings.

He laughs.

We fix an appointment.

This time it triggered a text.

• Please ring surgery to book appointment re medication update.

Hurrah.

So I rang Rottweiler.

She said she had no appointments with my gp. I said what? not ever?

She said yes that is correct .

• you can see another doctor… our enhanced practice has 4 surgeries across the town available… Blah blah..
• No. I said.

I want to see my usual gp. As your website suggests. Ican. Indeed the text he sent confirms that.

I do not want to see some random gp who asks me if I know the symptoms of an infection. #IsThePopeACatholic.

This argument went on for ages … Suffice to say Rottweiler finally capitulated.

Well sort of.

• You can have a telephone appointment.
• Great.
• When?
• August. August 15th!!!

Wonderful l sarcastically replied.

I will email the practice manager to request an appointment this side of Christmas.

• You cannot was her response.
• OK I will ring.
• She’s not available!

So my plan is to email to practice manager. Write pen and ink direct to gp and slip it under his door.

But best of all… I’ll carry on requesting weird things online until I get an appointment. And I’ll go for a swim.

Early morning yesterday.. .. back in the swim