Wednesday July 3rd. It was 5 week check up day with Dipstick.

The last five weeks haven’t exactly been calm. Actually the last 5 months or 5 years or 10 actually. This all started September 2009! Shit. Anyhow this week seems ok. Wimbledon week 1 what could be a better excuse to watch daytime tv ?

I waited in reception, never my calmest bestest moments. My fellow patients and I eyed each other as discretely as we could. It’s a given that the urology ones are usually tightly cross leggèd. The others adopt more relaxed poses! We could not help but overhear a protracted conversation about… sandwiches. A rottweiler receptionist appeared to be having a meltdown with the kitchen. Sandwiches had arrived for the consultants but there was no fridge. Whatever would Mr Dipstick and Mr Jerome et al think if they had old sandwiches…. Blah blah blah… We patients just exchanged grins. Lucky Rottweiler, if sandwiches was the worst worry of her day.

Hopefully Jerome and Dipstick will survive the crisis.

In due course Dipstick was ready. Only slightly late too. He was on jolly form. Nurse B had fixed to be there too. I reckon he was showing off his patient friendly manner for her benefit. Oh how we joked and laughed. Hah. I told him what tests I needed. He asked what else was on my list. Nurse B and I both told him what not to prescribe. I asked him about Ascot. Net loss £40. His impending summer holiday. Italy. His kids are bored, he said, with Spain! Nurse B and he, asked me some patient advocacy stuff. I answered their questions and we talked it through. Hope I can assist.

They checked me over. I’m deemed fit to swim. Hurrah.

He prescribed gin and tonic…! Put some other patient’s labels on all my test forms… but realised! We all unstuck them and put correct ones on. Gawd

And off I went. Grabbed a flat white on my way home. Not gin!

Perhaps it was my reminiscing about my last disastrous journey home, I got the wrong tube. Bummer. However, carefully avoiding eye contact with Carluccio’scaught a train home , to tv tennis.

A successful day.

Hope they got their curly sandwiches . 🥪