Monday dawned and as Dipstick and Jerome were away their admin team emailed to say my msu showed an infection , no surprises there, and they were sending a prescription by post.

That all sounded reasonable except that

a. Its better to send email prescription to chemist.

b. The stuff they prescribed is one Im allergic to

c. I had not been sent the results.

By WednesdayI felt horrible, shaking and shivering and pewky.

Thursday Jerome was at the end of emails at crack of dawn. Turned out the infection was pseudomonas… moaning myrtle… something. But only treatment was iv. Shit.

.

Off to hospital under Jerome’s care. That is, the doctors nurses knew exactly what Jerome required. That made all the difference.

Amazing duty doctors jumped to and were utterly brilliant. The first set up Jerome’s plan with precision intuition and communication. And a laugh.

One duty doctor arrived at 4 am to fix a rather unfortunate leaking cannula which hadproduced a swollen sore hand.

We chatted for ages. She explained her placement work in Paris. The means tested health system. Her conclusions? Patients in uk need to take responsibility for their own health and well-being. For example. Choose and pay for blood test. Chase and receive results. Choose and pay for appropriate doctor to act on results. I have said for years and years. We patients must stop expecting gp s to solve everything. Hospitals to cure everything. They cannot. We could pay if we can and support those who cannot.

However the Rottweiller gatekeepers must go. We cannot penetrate the system with their dire snarling.

Eventually Dr had to go to another patient. God I worry that she, looking all of 12 years old, might go to France. I begged her to stay.

The night staff were particularly brilliant and funny and so wonderfully ocd. Tethered to drip and night bag it’s difficult to tidy up. I hate all the debris of the day clutteri g up every surface. Nurse Miriam got it all sorted. If only, she reported, to avoid crashing into things all night. And promptly dropped the phone, crashed into the dripstand and kicked the night bag. Almost as much as to prove her point. Chaotic, frantic and busy… but she soon restored calm and laughter.

All the while Jerome was clearly behind the scenes as they changed this and added that.

I was revived and quickly got back to jollier form.

The nurses had a new bit of kit. They called it big brother. They each have a phone! No more crappy bell toll to get each others’ attention.

In addition, patients are tied up with a sticky probe to alarm cor heart, breathing and temperatureMy first one was not registered on the system. So Big Brother did not notice me. Then second one bloody thing came unstuck. Did not react when I dropped it in the shower and alarmed no one when I got so hot and shivery. Waste of time. God only knows what these things cost.

So to Saturday and trying to stretch between leg bag, swollen hand, drip stand and over to bedside table to tidy up… A sort of pilates twist on the game twister. When who should  appear but Jerome himself. What you pilates are you doin? He grinned.

Disentangling myself I tried to appear normal. As if.

We went over the updates, he dictated his clinic letter, interrupted by yet another member of staff appearing at the door. Wow. You’re back. HELLO. Great to see you.

He carefully shook my hand in farewell….worried he was somehow hurting I asked him what was wrong. Not me he laughed. Its you. YOU have a sore hand. Oh yes…Id forgotten.

Having also seen BFG and daughter 2 in hospital. God knows how they manage that. I know how upset they get. Husband D came too its tough. But got us both out of unpacking Scottish chattels. Also AT and KT arrived. Wow they are amazing. Laughter and jokes and teasing. No woe no drama. No fuss. Ever squeamish AT ran for it the moment a needle thrusting nurse appeared. Reappearing with a green tinge later, he managed to laugh it off with a joke about Brexit and French doctors. Not funny. He also brought a minature bottle of of tbe iconic Mateus. A funny reminder of an amazing Portugal time we all had a couple of years ago. As you do. Perfect visitors.

Patsie you are in my thoughts and prayers. Im coming. No drama no fuss just me.. and gin!