Thank-you for brilliant messages.

I need an avocado…. no, an advocate… the spellcheck changed it!

Crap day yesterday. It’s rare for me to be so utterly defeated. I was exactly the patient from hell. Not what you think. This is the patient who smiles, says thankyou, forgets her (long) list of questions and leaves having been told the consultant will be unable to help anymore. Discharged.

It’s like saying you are too complicated . .. piss off .. sort yourself out.

In school we try very hard not to give up on even the most complex child … we really try to keep them.

But I’m discharged. Expelled

What did I say in response?

‘Thankyou’

Smiled.

Laughed.

Joked.

She asked me about my spinal implant. THAT I said is a big success. It really works. But, I continued….

I have asked to be excluded from the group therapy. You see, when the patients gather, I find it dreadful. Surrounded by unfortunate opiated patients who are either asleep or crying, I just lose it. I just get silly. The example I gave was:

when asked by the Psychotherapist what our coping strategies were… the others talked about pacing (bollocks), opiates(emotional) , yoga and mindfulness .

When it got to me, the-patient-from-hell… my answer was….

Oh I just go for a swim, hope bladder helps warm up my wetsuit and then open a bottle of gin.

They all looked horror- struck.

The psycho agreed. I need not attend any more! Phew.

But I digress…

Back to today’s appointment

I asked her about her family. She had a of a nightmare last time we met. Her phone had spru g to life from her husband nanny and child’s school. Abdominal pain.

You know what? she even gave me a hug. Yep. She’s just lovely and brilliant .

So, I cannot see her again, she said.

Off I went.

Rammed my sunglasses on. Got to the tube.

Then train home.

hoping no one noticed how utterly devastated I felt.

Shit.

Bummer.

But avocado / advocate has of course responded. Jerome. He rang. He listened. He understood. Phewee. How the hell he does it I do not know.