March was meant to be sunny. It snowed.

We were meant to have a week’s holiday. We cancelled.

I was supposed to be teaching Tuesdays. I managed none….

It all started so well. A 24 hour trip to Dublin. An education programme day for clinicians the male/female psyche for motivational interviewing. In short persuading patients to use CISC. That is clean intermittent self catheterisation. My fellow patient is an awesome young man who broke his back skiing in the Antarctic. He has taught me so much. He refuses to ‘ battle’ he refuses to be ‘ bound’ ….Wheel-chair bound he is NOT. He is wheel chair enabled. His progress through airport security proved his point, he sped through. Laughing at my interrogation and personal searches by the guards! Disposable catheters, bionic metal body and bags of antibiotics always cause a scene for me!

I returned home coughing and sneezing blaming the Irish snow and lack of guinness.

Cutting a very long story short for two weeks I was in and out of GP surgery. On the phone to GPs and trying to persuade Rottweiler on the phone, to assist. My breathless phone calls won me a much prized appointment…  to see a duty nurse…

she was worried, plugged me into a nebuliser and said she’d get a doctor to assist.

Unfortunately, no doctor appeared. So she gave up on that idea and sent me to get a chest X-ray at the hospital. She instructed me to buy a nebuliser  and take steroids.. She told me my X-ray results would be available in five weeks.

Thinking five weeks was a bit(?) long to wait I contacted SurgeonSaintJerome for help.#Jerome-to-the-rescue AGAIN!

24 hours later I was seen by his recommended respiratory consultant friend and promptly admitted to hospital in London. I meekly sat holding my X-ray request form afterwards. Not sure where what how.. Eventually decided I better give that to reception. Then set off to my bed.

In my wheezy state I walked there. But no one said otherwise. I just kept going.

Jerome was aghast! Text exchange read something like this:

• I’m walking round now
• They made you walk?
• I’m tough
• Shit
• Hah
• Yeah
• Wow….!

My bed for the night was in ITU . Wow. My own personal nurse, doctors inches away leaping to soothe my every cough wheeze and sneeze. And bring tea too. Nice.

Meanwhile, sadly, my mother in law had died totally unexpectedly , in her sleep . So not only ringing my own GP, as above, I was also ringing Scottish GP to agree the death certificate details, undertakers and florists too. Trying to comfort my children and husband with wheezy lungs and spinning head. I wrote the funeral service in hospital. We went over the eulogy after watching the rugby …in hospital. Fabulous AT arrived tipped off by amazing KE  he brought grapes and oranges and muffins …tidied up my room, adjusted the heating and disappeared into the snowy night.

A few days later I was sufficiently oxygenated to get my release papers. With masses of support and advice from Jerome, off we set for Scotland.

We gave One Fine Lady one helluva send off. We all stayed on our favourite farm where we were cocooned in wonderful reassuring comfort , even the ewes produced lambs for us to admire. Baby O the star of the show. One massive poonami as the funeral started and slurping noises emanating from the front row as he needed a feed later! Perfect. It was unbearably sad of course. Not least because this is the fourth time we’ve done this show.  My father-in-law,  died three years ago almost to the day. Special for us is amazing heroic young orphaned nephew D, in fact officially called  son #1 after the tragic death of his parents some 25 years ago. This added layer of complexity makes us the more strong. We’ re Tough. Shit. Hah. Yeah. Wow.

So that was Mad March ….Now it’s nearly April. ….