Willy Wonka

Another great week in bladderlands.

Some 3(!) years ago Jerome suggested I get myself onto the waiting list of a particular surgeon in London who ‘ does infections’.

Well somehow or other I did just that.

Saw her first in 2016. Tricky to get appointments but….

Second appointment was 2017. She’s great, nice intelligent chatter empathy NICE.

By amazing luck I was contacted by her hospital telling me I had another appointment this week. That’s like getting the golden ticket to Wonka’s chocolate factory. A Roald Dahl prize winning

ticket to Hospital. So back on the blooming train again….The reason? The appointment was to a joint consultation with both NICE consultant and her colleague consultant microbiologist. Two doctors one patient. Big NICE. They were brilliant. Long story for another day. Suffice to say new ideas, new plan. It was agony going over the story again. Why do you only have one kidney? Why did you have a bladder reconstruction …once ? Twice? THREE times? why did you have stents?….Why are you allergic. What are you allergic to?….and so the interrogation went on….arrrrghhhhhh.

Whilst waiting for the appointment. I stood by the bin, as usual. The waiting room never has enough chairs. In any case I hate the effing loud tv blaring out Brexit news…and my spine is better upright.

A kind man offered me his seat and thanking him profusely I declined.

Whilst waiting , a young be- suited doctor came out of his room. He knocked on another room and a very important looking purple scrubs-clad doctor came out. They spoke urgently about his patient. A worry about the poor man’s private parts. The discussion was of course overheard by the WHOLE waiting room.

Having made a plan they busily returned to their rooms.

Of course we all tried not to look up as the hapless patient emerged from his appointment. Poor man. WillieWonkie. #Ouch.

Is this breach of confidentiality? Yes of course it is. The assumption from the doctors that the patients were sitting there deaf and blind and brain dead. We could hear every word. Just like when the cubicle curtains are drawn on a ward. For privacy? The good thing is, patients are pretty good at not saying anything. What happens in Hospital stays in Hospital.