Let’s assume RMO was grumpy because he’d  been grappling a ferocious patient in medicalness  heroics and bravely came to check me in, still splattered with blood.

So discounting grumpy bloody RMO and ditsy Day nurse 1 who didn’t know I was there…everyone was great.

Night nurse1: Irish K. We chattered away about storm Ophelia and the devastation that caused in Ireland. Polite to a fault she even asked me…four hourly..if it was convenient for ME, for her to do the observations.  She was brilliant. Worked out to spread the painkillers …. thought of everything. Called the kitchen people a walking nightmare when she found out they’d forgotten I was there.

Day Nurse 2: OCD – J. She the routine obsessed . Love it. She had trained in the Philippines. I related my very small Phillipines story. …The infamous Lady Marcos of shoe fame, sent her daughter to my school. We all got on fine.  Not least because one of one dark and stormy night. Our weekend camp trip involved a hike round Pevensey Castle. Young Princess Marcos came too. Immaculate in her ‘ camping outfit. To our great delight her bodyguards slept in their car and bought us fish and chips. We loved them forever. OCD -J grinned ( a rare event) she liked that story.

Then night nurse 2. Never did get her name. She, is mother of two ‘kids’!30 year old maths graduate from Bristol. Turned out she is expecting baby. Has moved in with mum and brother. Brother is 32. Will not sleep til mum gets home. ‘ cramps my style‘ she laughed ‘ he should get a life’.

It was while we talked about organic nappies ( as you do ) laughing at our well intentioned environmental ly minded children. They’ve no bloody idea what’s about to hit them we chortled. It was at this point Jerome popped in to find me chortling alone.  Thinking my craziness had hit new bonkerness . Until Night Nurse 2 emerged from the bathroom!

As for Jerome . What can I say? We first met way back when G.O.D. of all surgeons demanded he change my stents as an emergency. I’ll never forget that first phone call just hours before .’ I’ve not operated on a patient I’ve not met!’ Just how he finds the time to make phone calls, let alone make out he’s got all the time in the world to listen to a wailing pathetic patient, I really don’t know. He’s been the same ever since. He’s in my pocket or mobile ! every time In and out of hospital. Keeping an eye on his colleagues. Checking every detail. Forgetting nothing! Advising. Checking. Thinking ahead. Telling funny vomit -from -car stories,  leaking -urine -bag stories to keep me  gigglong! ( The verb for giggling along).

In fact only this afternoon Jerome rang. He’d bumped into Dipstick. Updated him. Dip apparently suggested Jerome must be my favourite Dr now.  Er now ?! you old urine dipper. Jerome has always been favourite and I gather told him so. poor old dippy he has no bloody idea.