My prep school was in Hastings next door to a ‘ looney bin’. Im sure that’s not a nice description, no offence just we 10 year olds thought it was. Goodness knows who lived there. it was the stuff of schoolgirl ghost stories after lights out. , Every so often we’d be in a ‘lockdown because ‘ of a loony on the loose’. the mass hysteria this caused was worthy One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. We loved the whole drama. Taking charge of our weeping shakingpeers and working out how to ‘ stab ‘ im ‘ if he got through our elaborate security. That is chair under door handle!. Marvelous. Such fun. I kept my illicit penknife in my pants ( two pairs, for decorom…I’m not joking) and we called them passion killers but that’s another story.

. I’ve decided I’m now in such a bin . It’s totally bloody nuts.

I’ve tried not to annoy Dipstick or Jerome to source some antibiotics. Ended up filling poor J’s inbox yet a -bloody- gain.

Cutting a long story short Dipstick had sent a script. But it was rejected by the chemist on account of it being 3 days worth for a month . ScareY Chemist didn’t think that fitted any of his protocols.

Jerome’s response was brilliant. I hope he doesn’t mind me adding it here: Sorry that Dipstick restricted it to 3 days

Bit overly optimistic that, given that you’ve only been off antibiotics for about 3 days this year… a triumph of hope over experience

But you’ve got to admire the optimism

J

With that chunterring on in the back ground I’ve also run out of eye drops.

The hospital gave me drops to take home. One bottle for two weeks. The other for four weeks. Steroids antibiotics blah.

Simple.

Turns out the smaller 5ml bottle is for four weeks. 4 drops a day for 14 days 2 drops for a further 14 days. So 56+28 = 84.

The larger 10 ml bottle 4 drops a day for 14 days and stop. 56. Agreed? Now you really don’t have to be a mathematician (!!)to solve this.

guess which bottle has run out? The smaller one, which I need for another 2 weeks. of course!. Plenty of the larger bottle. But I don’t need THAT one.

You’ve no idea how tricky it is proving to get more drops. I tried GP but Rottweiler not helpful. I’m in the hospital waiting and hoping and waiting….have to be ‘checked first’ costing god knows what to check my eyes with groovy equipment. But pleeeeaasse all I need are some more drops. Please.

So a great weekend starting any minute now judging by mass exodusstaff at 16:31…a few hardy patients still here…and no antibiotics for bladder and no antibiotic drop stuff for eye. Looooñnyyy.

You really couldn’t make it up…a nurse in blue pyjamas has just wandered in trying to make us all laugh. She’s pinged the reception bell a few times and asking if anyone would like cocktails! Friday the 13th alright.

I managed to escape the hospital. I managed to get the bloody drops. Just as the sand – in- my – eye feeling was getting beyond excruciating.

I managed to take my ‘get-well soon’ balloon to MJ -of-the -knee .

19:00 Awesome GP Dr Yes rang me at MJ’s. Rottweiler had obviously passed on eye issue to him despite having told me ‘ emergencies only’ earlier today. ‘You ok?’ he asked.

‘ Bet you need more drops. They NEVER give ANYONE enough I could’ve done that script earlier today had I known. ‘

Arghhhh I wailed…and the bladder?

‘I’m on it’ he said ‘I’ll sort’ he said.

AT LAST …I might be less loony…. tomorrow? I’ll keep my penknife ready though.