This time last week I was packing my catheters, pads, ( and  ipad), epipens, bionic chargers, antibiotics, painkillers and all the rest of the cabboodle that is required for a short trip abroad.

I survived the security, avoided the scanners ( that sets off the bionics) and arrived in Kitzbühel to book into our room with a lake view. We were there to watch son-in-law in the European Triathlon Championships for Team GB.

Well the room turned out to be IN the lake, just by the start pontoon for the swim part.

Pizza and OOMPA band the first night was fun in the town centre.

Awoke next morning to loud motivational music at 6.00am for the start of the first events. Showered and dressed first I decided to watch the events dangling my feet in the water on our little personal jetty. D was showering away happily indoors. As the swimmers raced past I turned to fetch my phone for some photos.  OOPS> Alas the jetty was none too new and somehow I ended up in the water in the lake.

I tried to grab a hold on the rusty nails now exposed, but only succeeded in tearing my best Sainsbury’s £4.99 t shirt and spearing my ribs a bit.  ‘Oh well’ thought I, I will just swim to another jetty and find my way back to the room.

To my considerable embarrassment one of the rescue boats from the Championships had spotted my dilemma and rushed to help. In my best Austrian / German I indicated I was fine.  #ActNormal This did not fit with the rules of the lake, so they insisted on a full scale rescue and delivery, fully clothed, to the competitors pontoon. I thanked them and clambered off. #ActNormal

So there I was , fully clothed but very wet, mingling with the hunky athletes.  I of course had no room key..technically I had been sitting IN the room.  I had no phone.  With considerable swagger, trying to look cool and athletic ( as if) , I clambered over some railings, into the neighbouring restaurant and found my way to the fence bordering our room. #ActNormal  Looking nonchalant I tried to yell for D. He eventually appeared, looked round the patio and the look on his face said it all: ‘ where the F*** has SHE got to’.  He heard me in the end and let me in the side door. I think he thought I had gone to fetch the tray for our self -catered- from- the -restaurant- next -door breakfast.  Great he said. Breakfast. That’s good…..oh you are a bit wet. ER?….

So its a few funny photos to prove to you that this happened.  I am really fine, battered bruised and tetanus jabbed. Rest assured the weekend was brill. Son- in -law did amazingly. In addition back in UK Daughter L, rowed her heart out at Henley…we watched online from our room in a lake.

Fantastic utterly voice losing fantabiosa.  Oh, one more thing, I have just discovered the Edelweiss is Swiss. The Austrian purple flower is …Gentian ( careful how I typed that with predictive text and squiffy eyes anything could happen!).

On the est of the medical front…argh…well bladder buggering, Dipstick has still not fixed appointment, his office did send a reminder that I was to see him, so I politely explained they were going to ring me, I simply give up. Eye issues continue so its a  brain scan for that. I tried to explain that the MRI they wanted was difficult on account of my bionicness. They did not believe me. Of course I am only the patient what the hell do I know? Anyhow 3000 phone calls and emails and now its downgraded to a CT scan with NO contrast alas I am allergic to contrast.  I will report back.

Meanwhile, the hills are alive with the sound of music…blossom of snow may you bloom and grow …Do!( a female plonker ) Re! ( a drop of radiology) Mi ! ( Me  children are so sporty )Fa! ( a long long way to run and swim and bike..) S0!( a tetanus needle jab ) La !( Lederhosen ??!!) Ti !( a drink with breakfast tray……) and that will bring us back to Dooooooooooohhhh