Not sure that I have quite realised Black Friday upon us. Since when did we do that? I vaguely remember TescoTVWars a year ago but my inbox indicates its everywhere ?

But here we are another pavement in London. Yesterday the cool and brilliant implant rep rang. Cutting a long story short I confessed the staples were indeed out but left hip a mess. Implant seems not to be charging either.

4 amazing phone calls later and the hospital has fixed for me to be seen ‘ in the procedures clinic’. Whatever that is. Could I be there by 9. Yes I said. Of course the usual expensive ticket, overcrowded train, crack of dawn etc but at least I’d be back in time for bridge lesson with the ‘yellow cardis’.  Remembered to cancel tesco delivery. Remembered to fix for dog sitter.

Thinking this was all going so well I got there for 8.30 only a short walk to the wonderful world of NHS from St Pancrearse Station.

Bloody Rottweiler on the desk could not find me on the ‘system’. Of course not. Asked me for my hospital-date-of – birth.  Not sure on that one but as I fumbled with some bits of paper which might be of use she grimaced at her screen and tapped away on her keyboard ignoring me.  Oh well I sort of hung around and eventually she told me to go sit on the waiting chairs.. well I was there 3 hours before I tried to brave up and ask if I should maybe come another day. Rottweiler beckoned over a brilliant nurse, labrador? Who said said no no don’t go you need to be seen. I said I’d have a little walk outside. Good to calm down. Why say nine when 12 or 13 or 14 might be better..so ridiculous telling your patient to take it easy for 6 weeks then get them in at crack of dawn, no coffee or anything but rather rickety water fountain. Chairs not very comfortable. Leg head toes back everything started the screaming ….oh buckett buckett.

Rotweiler clearly unable to turn off sound on her mobile it pinged twitter type sound every so often.  Then she’d been chatting on her phone for ages about Black Friday… Yep black mood or red mist descended ok. Waiting area is hot stuffy , no where to lie down….so off I went to the pavement. Got some strange looks but who cares.

Pondered next week’s urodynamics. BUPA wont pay. Surgeon 1 charges £500 for his time and £497 for hospital. Surgeon 2 charges £107 fee and £947 for his swanky Marylebone hospital.  So what do I do now? I could try to get onto NHS it’ll take a year or so judging by the spinal referral. But it really makes sense now. No just for the consultant but the after sales services. Specialist nurses to ring. To check. To reassure. To explain.  Can I face another battle? Of course the spinal battle took 2 years before I was even on the waiting list because CCG decided they could block it when of course they had no right. I am not returning to my own hospital …I cannot will not trust them…so back to black Friday.

In short, went back. Got given a bed. Hurrah. Offered coffee. Surgeon ( not mine) eventually came in. Utterly awesome. Careful clear compassionate. Blimey he might even fit into the Jerome mould. Apologies in bucketloads for ridiculous timing. Explained a colleague had got caught in traffic.  Sorted everything. Labrador nurse came to help. Teas coffees biscuits. They even spoke to rep for the implant.  Fabulous.

Got away. Missed train. Got another. Taxi at home had an altercation with a bike on the way out. Frrrrrr….all ok. I made it home….oh my days this is utter rubbish.