DAY 5 Sunday 16th

Early morning. This was a bit more deja vue: Mr B popped in early morning. Sensibly suggested I ask Surgeons 1 and 2 to answer my questions when at least one of them returned…Poor man ‘whatamIdoinghere’.Irish M accompanied, ..… checked scar and dressing then made a hasty retreat. ‘Eat anything you like’ he added. ‘Poor Mr B’ I mutter ‘suddenly you are in the boat of confusion’.  Better ask Jerome where he fits into the Men-in-the-Boat scheme of things.

Seemed like minutes later breakfast arrived. Natural yogurt. It was great. Progress was being made.

Not long after…you will not believe it….by gorra…is that Irish…M leapt over my bed like a flying gazelle…’Surgeon’s here’ she muttered. ‘Errr, he’s been’ I confidently whispered.  Door is flung open and who is strode in? None other than away -for-awhile Surgeon 1.  Gawd. Whataretheylike?

‘Hi.Hows you? Great. Great.’  he joyously burbled on.   ‘erm, we thought you were away’ I managed to stutter out like a limp loon.’   ‘No no next week next week.  Right… Lets take out one of the catheters’ he replied.]

Oh? I mumbled Surgeon 2 had said not yet. Mr B had agreed.  Help I had understood I’d be going home with two. argh. Help.  He jollied on examined checked scar and dressing then stayed bedside for a chat…’Eat anything you like’ he reiterated. Well at least that was consistent if impossible.  Why on earth did they get poor  Mr B to cover?  He had BB in tow. Not seen for ages. Nurses think its yet another doctor, gawd what a confuzzled group we had all ended up. Well they stayed to have a chatter and off they went.

No sooner had they gone when like a sort of gurney, in trundled the trolley-of-catheter recognised from many previous experiences.

I summoned up some inner courage and begged the nurses to ring Surgeon1. They did. He apparently agreed from afar that one catheter should indeed be removed. That went against all that he had told me. Conservative approach he had said. Time the great healer and all that. Dammit what was I meant to do? Refuse..Remember now J you-are-only-the-patient…I resigned myself to the inevitable… catheter  was out although the suprapubic was left in.  Bogus. I hoped to goodness this was the correct decision. Help. What could I do. frrrrrrr.

That afternoon somehow turned into a sort of rave, well sort of! KK,AT, G with Al, L, M&T and me resplendent in bed, visitors desperately tried to avoid eye contact with… catheter…. Only one.lucky them…and … the drips and drains had been gradually decreasing. They should have been grateful.  I was getting more mobile.  Walked from bed to bathroom. whoo. what a feeling.

Wonderful Ward Sister called E arrived. It had been noted that I had not eaten alot. I tried to explain. But no, he ( maybe should be a Ward Brother not sister?)refused to take any explanations and sent in….. catering manager dun dun dun.… the CATERING MANAGER…..Result.  It was understood I could eat ‘Eat anything you like’ …well what would I like she asked. Dunno really. Soup. Toast. Be great.  Maybe some carrotty chopped up veg kind of crudite’ I said ‘ but really please don’t worry. I am totally fine on coffee and watery tomato soup.

DAY 6 Monday 17th No surgeons day.  Phew.

Get a message from Jerome just back from holiday. 6.30 am and he is messaging patients. Amazing. How the hell?  Anyway my answer appeared to be something like:

‘Hello J. Thank you. I’m not sure of room or floor and currently harnessed to bed. I think its 4ty something I’ll confirm. I do know after hilarious friend visit yesterday that I am in a room sponsored by Worshipful company Girdlers hilarious’.

D and L arrive later. They are great company. Excellent visitors. Chatter. Read. TV.

Other messages I managed to type out include:

>All going really well after  ‘tricky’ op. Men in boat seem cautiously optimistic. Opiate hallucinogenics making typing an sort of 3d  experience . Apologies if this

garbled.

>

> nurses fantastic they think of everything even bringing chef to see me to conjure up a meal that is not sea bass with asparagus which I cannot face! Toast and strong coffee would be perfect!

Doing well here…they’ve taken down every tube line and bag. Just going to have one catheter for a awhile so that bladder reconstruction heals OK. Its fine I really don’t  mind that.