EASY-NHS-AIR

There is always some food (often soup) on the table in every patient’s room whenever I visit a private patient. I thought they served it half-hourly rather than at random so that’s another interesting observation / insight.

At least you’ve been flying first class with BA.

Imagine what it’s like when folk fly Easy-NHS-Air. They get a cup of warm water, left too far from the bed to reach. Of course, it’s free at the point of delivery, but the ‘plane is hopelessly overbooked, only staffed by one pilot and a trainee cabin crew, and subject to freqent cancellations. Turbulent air flow within the passenger cabin is a substantial hazard.

Their plane has only got one wheel, one wing, and half an engine. Of course, it does not fly straight.

This is something the government has looked into and, in fact, is not true. All Easy-NHS-Air jets have two or more wings, four or more engines, and are fully staffed with 3 pilots and eighteen cabin nurses per client. A new flight overseeing managment infrastructure is being instituted to provide compulsory direction, training and most importantly motivation to the lazy pilot and trainee cabin crew member to fly the plane more efficiently snd effectively. They have been told to audit their own performance and feedback to themselves, and devise their own, new, innovative ways of working. Easy-NHS-Air management will take appropriate credit when the time comes for their managerial prowess.

Sadly, owing to procurement regulations, and new budget arrangements, the new two-winged, multi-engined aircraft have not yet been commissioned from the newly established primary air trusts. These will be delivered as part of the 2020 upgrade. In the meanwhile, the pilot can simply work harder.

Get well soon!